Kate—Oh, was he?

Mother—No, not Wuzzy, Izzy.


I hear you give your little boy a quarter every week for behavior, Ignatz.

Sure, but I fool him. I told him the gas meter was a little bank I bought him.


At the luncheon to Nahum Sokolow, the Jewish journalist, attended by New York editors, Adolph Ochs, of the Times, told of a Jew who came to Bishop Potter, stating that he desired to embrace Christianity. The Bishop arranged for him to have a talk with one of the curates, but the applicant was insistent and said he wanted to join right away.

Why are you in such a hurry? inquired the Bishop.

Well, my family done me dirt and I want to disgrace them.