After much trouble and fatigue, I at length reached Jockmock, where stands
the principal church of this northern district, and where its pastor resides.
June 30.
The clergyman of Jockmock, Mr. Malming, who is the schoolmaster, and Mr. Högling the curate, tormented me with their consummate and most pertinacious ignorance. I could not but wonder how so much pride and ambition, such scandalous want of information, with such incorrigible stupidity, could exist in persons of their profession, who are commonly expected to be men of knowledge; yet any school-boy twelve years of age might be better informed. No man will deny the propriety of such people as these, at least, being placed as far as possible from civilized society.
The learned curate began his conversation with remarks on the clouds in this country, setting forth how they strike the mountains as they pass, carrying away stones, trees and cattle. I ventured to
suggest that such accidents were rather to be attributed to the force of the wind, for that the clouds could not of themselves lift, or carry away, any thing. He laughed at me, saying surely I had never seen any clouds. For my part, it seemed to me that he could have never been any where but in the clouds. I replied, that whenever the weather is foggy I walk in clouds, and when the fog is condensed, and no longer supported in the air, it immediately rains beneath my feet. At all such reasoning, being above his comprehension, he only laughed with a sardonic smile. Still less was he satisfied with my explanation how watery bubbles may be lifted up into the air, as he told me the clouds were solid bodies. On my denying this, he reinforced his assertion with a text of scripture, silencing me by authority, and then laughing at my ignorance. He next condescended to inform me that after rain a phlegm is always to be found on the mountains, where the clouds have touched them. Upon my
replying that this phlegm is a vegetable called Nostoc, I was, like St. Paul, judged to be mad, and that too much learning had turned my brain. This philosopher, who was as fully persuaded of his own complete knowledge of nature, as Sturmius was of being able to fly by means of hollow globes, was pleased to be very facetious at my expense. At length he graciously advised me to pay some regard to the opinions of people skilled in these abstruse matters, and not, at my return home, to expose myself by publishing such absurd and preposterous opinions as I had now advanced.
The other, the pedagogue, lamented that people should bestow so much attention upon temporal vanities, and consequently, alas! neglect their spiritual good[55]; and he remarked that many a man had been ruined by too great application to study.
Both these wise men concurred in one thing. They could not conceal their wonder that the Royal Academy should expressly have appointed a mere student for the purposes for which I was sent, without considering that there were already as competent men resident in the country, who would have undertaken the business. They declared they would either of them have been ready to accept of the charge. In my opinion, however, they would but have exhibited a fresh illustration of the proverb of the ass and the lyre.
The number of pupils under the care of the gentleman above mentioned at this time amounted to four only. The church is but a small one.