He struck an attitude, bowed to each of his audience separately, cleared his throat impressively, and then began to declaim in a stilted, stagey voice, and with absurd dramatic gestures:
"THE ART OF ELOCUTION
"The noble songs of noble deeds of bravery or glory
Are much enhanced if they're declaimed with stirring oratory.
I love sonorous words that roll like billows o'er the seas;
These I recite like Cicero or like Demosthenes.
"And so, from every poem what is worthy I select;
I use the phrases I like best, the others I reject;
And thus, I claim, that I have found the logical solution
Of difficulties that attend the art of elocution.
"Whence come these shrieks so wild and shrill? Across the sands o' Dee?
Lo, I will stand at thy right hand and keep the bridge with thee!
For this was Tell a hero? For this did Gessler die?
'The curse is come upon me!' said the Spider to the Fly.
"When Britain first at Heaven's command said, 'Boatswain, do not tarry;
The despot's heel is on thy shore, and while ye may, go marry.'
Let dogs delight to bark and bite the British Grenadiers,
Lars Porsena of Clusium lay dying in Algiers!
"Old Grimes is dead! Ring out, wild bells! And shall Trelawney die?
Then twenty thousand Cornishmen are comin' thro' the rye!
The Blessed Damozel leaned out,—she was eight years old she said!
Lord Lovel stood at his castle gate, whence all but him had fled.
"Rise up, rise up, Xarifa! Only three grains of corn!
Stay, Lady, stay! for mercy's sake! and wind the bugle horn.
The glittering knife descends—descends—Hark, hark, the foeman's cry!
The world is all a fleeting show! Said Gilpin, 'So am I!'
"The sea! the sea! the open sea! Roll on, roll on, thou deep!
Maxwelton braes are bonny, but Macbeth hath murdered sleep!
Answer me, burning shades of night! what's Hecuba to me?
Alone stood brave Horatius! The boy—oh, where was he?"
"Oh, Father!" cried Marjorie, as Mr. Maynard finished, "did you really make that up? Or did you find it in a book?"
But Mr. Maynard wouldn't tell, and only accepted the praise heaped upon him, with a foolish smirk, like an embarrassed schoolboy.
"Now, children, school is out," said Midget, "and it's about luncheon time. So go and tidy yourselves up to come to the table. You're always sending us to tidy up, Mother, so now you can see what a nuisance it is! Run along, and come back as quickly as you can, for luncheon is nearly ready."
The four grown-ups went away to tidy up, and King and Midget made further plans for this new game. It was still raining, so there was no hope of going motoring, and they concluded they were having enough fun at home to make up for it.
But when the four "children" returned, they looked at them a moment in silent astonishment, and then burst into shrieks of laughter.
Mr. Maynard and Mr. Bryant had transformed themselves into boys, by brushing their hair down very wet and straight, and wearing large, round collars made of white paper, and tied with enormous bows. They looked funny enough, but the two ladies were funnier still. Mrs. Maynard had her hair in two long pigtails tied with huge ribbons, and Cousin Ethel had her hair in bunches of curls, also tied with big bows. They both wore white bib aprons, and carried foolish-looking dolls which they had made out of pillows, tied round with string.
"You dear children!" cried Midget; "I think you are lovely! Come along to luncheon."