“Yes, and he’ll kindly withdraw his offer when he sees you in your own rightful raiment. I’ve a notion to put you in a pinafore, and give you a Teddy Bear to carry. There’s no keeping you down any other way.”
“Oh, don’t be alarmed. I’ve no designs on the young men. I like the boys better, anyhow. That Jack Merivale is a chummy kind of a youth. That’s the sort I like. Rest assured I won’t trouble that wretched Earl. I won’t even speak to him, and I’ll make over to you whatever interest he may deign to show in me.”
“As one Humpty Dumpty said, ‘I’d rather see that on paper.’”
“So you shall,” said Patty, and setting down her unfinished tea, she flew to the writing table.
Perching herself on the corner of the desk chair, she laid out a sheet of Lady Herenden’s crested note paper, and took up a pen. “Shall I write the agreement as I please?” she said, “or will you dictate it?”
“I’ll dictate,” said Lady Kitty, smiling lazily at the foolery. But as she paused between sentences, Patty put in parentheses of her own, and when finished the remarkable document read thus:
“I, the undersigned, being of (fairly) sound mind, do hereby of my own free will (coerced by one Lady Hamilton) relinquish all interest or concern in the (illustrious) personage known as Sylvester, Earl of Ruthven (but I do think he has a lovely name), and should he show any interest in me, personally, I promise (gladly) to refer him to (the aforesaid) Lady Hamilton (though what she wants of him, I don’t know!), and I hereby solemnly promise and agree, not to seek or accept any further acquaintance or friendship with the (Belted) gentleman above referred to.
“Furthermore, I (being still of sound mind, but it’s tottering) promise not to talk or converse with the (Sylvester! Sylvester!) Earl of Ruthven, beyond the ordinary civilities of the day (whatever that may mean!), never to smile at him voluntarily (I can’t help laughing at him), and never to wave my eyelashes at him across the table. (Why does she think I’d do that?)
“Witness my hand and seal,
“PATRICIA FAIRFIELD.”