“And, anyway, I wasn’t exactly buying a veil—I was just shopping for one.”
A QUIET AFTERNOON
“Oh, how do you do, Mr. Willing? I’m so glad to see you! I was just saying to myself it’s such a dull afternoon I’d be glad to see anybody.”
“Even me!”
“Now, you’re just fishing for a compliment, but you won’t get it. Sit down in that big easy chair and we’ll have a nice, quiet, comfy afternoon, and you can talk to me.”
“I can do what?”
“Oh, well, I’ll talk to you, then. I want to ask your advice about something. I’m in a—well, a sort of a dilemma—and I want the judgment of a man of the world—an all-round knowing man—if you know what I mean. Oh, there’s the telephone—pardon me, Mr. Willing—I’ll just see who it is—no, you needn’t leave the room—it’s probably Tottie, or some of the girls. Hello! Oh, hello! Is that you, Jack? Why, you dear boy, I’m so glad to see you—hear you, I mean.
“What? Not really? Oh, the idea! Now, don’t you flatter me like that—oh, no, no—I couldn’t possibly!—well, maybe—if you’ll promise to be good.
“What, now? Oh, no, Jack, you can’t come up here now. I’m—just going out! No—you didn’t hear a man’s voice exclaiming! That was Fido! Yes, he has a human sort of a bark. Well, yes, it is a little like Willy Willing’s voice—he’s a perfect puppy! What! No! Of course, I mean Fido. No, Jack, you can’t come now; I tell you I’m going out. I have on my hat and coat already—yes, that was Fido again—he always makes that queer sound when anybody telephones. (Puts hand over transmitter.) Mr. Willing, you must keep still, or I won’t tell all these fibs for your benefit! But I don’t want our nice quiet afternoon intruded upon—Yes, Jack, come to-morrow. I have something I want to consult you about. I really need the advice of a (covers transmitter again)—Mr. Willing, please step into the library for a moment. Look at the new books on the table—Yes, Jack, truly, I need the experienced advice of an all-round man of the world—like you—oh, yes, you are—you’re awfully well balanced and all that—don’t talk when I am talking—wait till I ring off—oh, Jane is just bringing me a card—wait a minute, Jack—why, it’s Mr. Strong—I like that man awfully well—show him in, Jane. Goodby, Jack—no, I can’t listen now—good-by.”