“Well, which do you want, the hat or the sofa-pillow you hinted for a while ago?”
“Oh, Uncle, how lovely of you! But it’s hard to choose between them. Suppose I had them both sent home on approval—and then I can see—”
“Yes, I know what that means!”
“Oh, here comes the maid, with your beef tea. No, Jane, let me take it; I’ll give it to him. You may go, Jane. I’ll just taste this, Uncle, to be sure it isn’t too hot for you. Oh, how good it is! I’ve often thought I’d like to be an invalid just on account of the lovely things they get to eat. Why, this beef tea is delicious! And such a pretty cup and saucer. Do you know, Ethel Wylie has a whole set like this. ‘Coalport,’ isn’t it? Say, Uncle, what do you think about the coal strike? Do tell me all about it—I’m shockingly ignorant of politics. Do they call it a strike because the men get mad and strike each other? Or what?”
“Lilly, if you don’t want all that beef tea, I believe I could relish a little.”
“Oh, Uncle, how thoughtless of me! I’ve sipped nearly all of it! I suppose I sort of thought I was at a tea. But I think there’s as much as you ought to take. Dear Uncle, it’s so nice to see you eat something nourishing. I’m sure it will do you good. It must be awful to have the grippe. And you have headache, haven’t you? Now, don’t say no—I can see it in your poor, dear eyes. I’m going to tie this wet bandage round your forehead—so—oh, no, it isn’t dripping down your neck—it can’t be. Well, it will soon stop. Now I’ll rub this menthol on the bridge of your nose—now, now, Uncle, don’t scowl like that. If you won’t try mental science we must use remedies.”
“Lilly, if you don’t let me alone I’ll throw this cup and saucer at you!”
“Oh, Uncle, dear, don’t be so peevish! There, now, I’ll pat your poor foot and sing to you.”
“Ooch! Oh, the devil! Lilly, get out! There!!”
“Oh, Uncle, you’ve smashed that lovely ‘Coalport!’ Did those gentle little pats hurt your foot? I don’t believe it! I declare a man is worse to take care of than a baby! Thank goodness, here comes Aunt Hetty!”