The Hospital: The hospital is a fine up-to-date building, for the benefit of lovesick swains. It is situated on the corner of Heartbreak Avenue and Despair Street, and is in charge of skilled medical men and well-trained nurses.
Special wards are provided for the moonstruck, and padded cells for Swains suffering from Love’s delirium, or those frantic Lovers who have been bitten by the Green-Eyed Monster.
Emergency Specialists provide first aid to the smitten, and Anatomical Experts attend those who have had their heads turned, or who have fallen over head and ears in love; while clever Oculists look after those whom Love has made blind, or whose eyes are in a fine frenzy rolling.
The Weather Bureau: The weather bureau in Arcady is a most unreliable affair.
If a frown cloud his lady’s face, the sign to the Lover is: “Fair and Slightly Cooler.”
If he fail in any attention she expected, the sign may be read: “About this time expect a frost.”
WEATHER BUREAU
“FAIR AND SLIGHTLY COOLER”