For those who wish to derive the greatest possible pleasure from a visit to Arcady, some acquaintance with the Language of Love is indispensable. This can best be acquired by a careful study of poetry and romantic novels, and about four hours’ practise every day. (“The Lover’s Phrase Book” is a useful little treatise, as it gives four thousand terms of endearment, alphabetically arranged, and is small enough to be carried in the pocket, for ready reference, in case of love at first sight.)
The Language of Love is largely composed of adjectives and expletives.
Hyperbole and other flowery figures of speech abound.
It is also peculiarly rich in idioms, most of which are generally unintelligible, being made up by those who use them.
The beginner usually thus learns the first principles of conjugation.
First Person, I love. This is a joy and a revelation and he is the happiest man on earth.
Second Person, Thou lovest. This completes his rapture and he is in Heaven.
Third Person, He loves. This is known as the Tertium Quid and casts the beginner into the depths of Hades.