"This is really intolerable!" said the Compleat Clergyman. "Do you insinuate, sir, that I am not a genuine — "
"I do," returned my friend. He nodded towards Evelyn, and looked back at the ticket-collector. "And, if I am not mistaken, that young lady is his accomplice."
"Bust him one in the snoot, reverend," Stone said to me, evidently stung by this unchivalrous reference to Evelyn. Evelyn had assumed her Easter-card expression, now of a spiritual horror. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" said Stone warmly, "running around and making trouble for innocent people who-"
The ticket-collector clucked his tongue, and looked gloomily at us, but said nothing.
"Innocent people!" said my friend. "Ha ha ha. You will permit me, sir, the indulgence of a smile. Ha ha ha." He turned to the ticket-collector. "Allow me to repeat precisely what occurred. As this train was leaving a station called (I believe) Moreton Abbot, I distinctly observed this young man run out of the station. He was then dressed in the uniform of a police-constable, and he had in his hand that dark suit-case which you now perceive in the rack beside my own luggage. He boarded the train. This young lady was quite obviously expecting him; since, when he failed to appear within the next five minutes, she went in search of him. Not long afterwards he appeared in this compartment, apparelled in that grotesque travesty of a clerical costume which you now observe him to be wearing. You do not deny all this, sir?"
"Most certainly I do."
My friend folded his arms. "Perhaps you also deny the sequel? Of this young man's subsequent conduct I say little. I pass over his blasphemous language when he entered here, and these two gentlemen cursed at each other in greeting. I pass over his conduct with this young lady, behaviour which I can only describe as the beginning of a libidinous orgy. I wish to make my position clear. If this is the result of a prank or a wager, I have no wish to cause unpleasantness for this young man beyond insisting that he have the decency to leave off this insulting masquerade. I admire high spirits as well, I trust, as anyone else. But — if you will allow me to express an opinion in which I should be only too happy to be proved wrong — I cannot help feeling that something more serious lies at the bottom of it all. To be candid, I should not be surprised if this man were a criminal whom the police are anxious to apprehend. If this proves to be the case, I shall insist that he be put under restraint and handed over to the authorities in the next town."
Stiffly he pointed to the black bag on the rack.
"You have denied my allegations, sir," he said. "Well, prove it. Open that bag."