[-8-] "But I hesitate, for fear that in saying precisely what fits your case I may seem to be uttering words that are unfitting for myself.[14] This I will pass over; and further, by Jupiter, also the affairs of Gabinius, against whom, you prepared accusers and then pled his cause in such a way that he was condemned; and the pamphlets which you compose against your friends, in regard to which you feel yourself so guilty that you do not dare to make them public. Yet it is a most miserable and pitiable state to be in, not to be able to deny these charges which are the most disgraceful conceivable to admit. But I will leave these to one side and bring forward the rest. Well, though we did grant the trainer, as you say, two thousand plethra of the ager Leontinus, we still learned nothing adequate from it.[15] But who should not admire your system of instruction? And what is it? You are ever jealous of your superiors, you always toady to the prominent man, you slander him who has attained distinction, you inform against the powerful and you hate equally all the excellent, and you pretend love only for those through whom you may do some mischief. This is why you are always inciting the younger against their elders and lead those who trust you even in the slightest into dangers, where you desert them. [-9-] A proof of this is, that you have never accomplished any achievement worthy of a distinguished man either in war or in peace. How many wars have we won under you as praetor and what kind of territory did we acquire with you as consul? Your private activity all these years has consisted in continually deceiving some of the foremost men and winning them to your side and managing everything you like, while publicly you have been shouting and bawling out at random those detestable phrases,—'I am the only one that loves you,' or, if it should so chance, 'And what's-his-name, all the rest, hate you,' and 'I alone am friendly to you, all the rest are engaged in plots,' and other such stuff by which you fill some with elation and conceit, only to betray them, and scare the rest so that you gain their attachment. If any service is rendered by any one whomsoever of the whole people, you lay claim to it and write your own name upon it, repeating: 'I moved it, I proposed it, it was through me that this was done so.' But if anything happens that ought not to have occurred, you take yourself out of the way and censure all the rest, saying: 'You see I wasn't praetor, you see I wasn't envoy, you see I wasn't consul.' And you abuse everybody everywhere all the time, setting more store by the influence which comes from appearing to speak your mind boldly than by saying what duty demands: and you exhibit no important quality of an orator. [-10-] What public advantage has been preserved or established by you? Who that was really harming the city have you indicted, and who that was really plotting against us have you brought to light? To neglect the other cases,—these very charges which you now bring against Antony are of such a nature and so many that no one could ever suffer any adequate penalty for them. Why, then, if you saw us being wronged by him at the start, as you assert, did you never attack or accuse him at the time, instead of telling us now all the transgressions he committed when tribune, all his irregularities when master of horse, all his villanies when consul? You might at once, at the time, in each specific instance, have inflicted the appropriate penalty upon him, if you had wanted to show yourself in very deed a patriot, and we could have imposed the punishment in security and safety during the course of the offences themselves. One of two conclusions is inevitable,—either that you believed this to be so at the time and renounced the idea of a struggle in our behalf, or else that you could not prove any of your charges and are now engaged in a reckless course of blackmail.
[-11-] "That this is so I will show you clearly, Conscript Fathers, by going over each point in detail. Antony did say some words during his tribuneship in Caesar's behalf: Cicero and some others spoke in behalf of Pompey. Why now does he accuse him of preferring one man's friendship, but acquit himself and the rest who warmly embraced the opposite cause? Antony, to be sure, hindered at that time some measures adverse to Caesar from being passed: and Cicero hindered practically everything that was known to be favorable to Caesar. 'But Antony obstructed,' he replies, 'the public judgment of the senate.' Well, now, in the first place, how could one man have had so much power? Second, if he had been condemned for this, as is said, how could he have escaped punishment? 'Oh, he fled, he fled to Caesar and got out of the way.' Of course you, Cicero, did not 'leave town' just now, but you fled, as in your former exile.[16] Don't be so ready to apply your own shame to all of us. To flee is what you did, in fear of the court, and pronouncing condemnation on yourself beforehand. Yes, to be sure, an ordinance was passed for your recall; how and for what reasons I do not say, but at any rate it was passed, and you did not set foot in Italy before the recall was granted. But Antony both went away to Caesar to inform him what had been done and returned, without asking for any decree, and finally effected peace and friendship with him for all those that were found in Italy. And the rest, too, would have had a share in it, if they had not taken your advice and fled. [-12-] Now in view of those circumstances do you dare to say he led Caesar against his country and stirred up the civil war and became more than any one else responsible for the subsequent evils that befell us? Not so, but you, who gave Pompey legions that belonged to others and the command, and undertook to deprive Caesar even of those that had been given him: it was you, who agreed with Pompey and the consuls not to accept the offers made by Caesar, but to abandon the city and the whole of Italy: you, who did not see Caesar even when he entered Rome, but had run off to Pompey and into Macedonia. Not even to him, however, did you prove of any assistance, but you neglected what was going on, and then, when he met with misfortune, you abandoned him. Therefore you did not aid him at the outset on the ground that he had the juster cause, but after setting in motion the dispute and embroiling affairs you lay in wait at a safe distance for a favorable turn; you at once deserted the man who failed, as if that somehow proved him guilty, and went over to the victor, as if you deemed him more just. And in addition to your other defects you are so ungrateful that not only are you not satisfied to have been preserved by him, but you are actually displeased that you were not made master of the horse.
[-13-] "Then with this on your conscience do you dare to say that Antony ought not to have held the office of master of the horse for a year, and that Caesar ought not to have remained dictator for a year? But whether it was wise or necessary for these measures to be framed, at any rate they were both passed, and they suited us and the people. Censure these men, Cicero, if they have transgressed in any particular, but not, by Jupiter, those whom they have chosen to honor for showing themselves worthy of so great a reward. For if we were forced by the circumstances that then surrounded us to act in this way and contrary to good policy, why do you now lay this upon Antony's shoulders, and why did you not oppose it then if you were able? Because, by Jupiter, you were afraid. Then shall you, who were at that time silent, obtain pardon for your cowardice, and shall he, because he was preferred before you, submit to penalties for his excellence? Where did you learn that this was just, or where did you read that this was lawful?
[-14-] "'But he did not rightly use his position as master of horse.' Why? 'Because,' he answers, 'he bought Pompey's possessions.' How many others are there who purchased numberless articles, no one of whom is blamed? That was the purpose in confiscating certain articles and exposing them in the market and proclaiming them by the voice of the public crier, to have somebody buy them. 'But Pompey's goods ought not to have been sold.' Then it was we who erred and did wrong in confiscating them; or (to clear your skirts and ours) it was at least Caesar who acted irregularly, he who ordered this to be done: yet you did not censure him at all. I maintain that in this charge he is proven to be absolutely beside himself. He has brought against Antony two quite opposite accusations,—one, that after helping Caesar in very many ways and receiving in return vast gifts from him he was then required under compulsion to surrender the price of them, and the second, that he inherited naught from his father, spent all that he had like Charybdis (the speaker is always bringing in some comparison from Sicily, as if we had forgotten that he had been exiled there), and paid the price of all that he purchased.
[-15-] "So in these charges this remarkable orator is convicted of violently contradicting himself and, by Jupiter, again in the following statements. At one time he says that Antony took part in everything that was done by Caesar and by this means became more than any one else responsible for all our internal evils, and again he charges him with cowardice, reproaching him with not having shared in any other exploits than those performed in Thessaly. And he makes a complaint against him to the effect that he restored some of the exiles and finds fault with him because he did not secure the recall of his uncle; as if any one believes that he would not have restored him first of all, if he had been able to recall whomsoever he pleased, since there was no grievance on either side between them, as this speaker himself knows. Indeed, though he told many wretched lies about Antony, he did not dare to say anything of that kind. But he is utterly reckless about letting slip anything that comes to his tongue's end, as if it were mere breath.
[-16-] "Why should one follow this line of refutation further? Turning now to the fact that he goes about with such a tragic air, and has but this moment said in the course of his remarks that Antony rendered the sight of the master of the horse most oppressive by using everywhere and under all circumstances the sword, the purple, the lictors, and the soldiers at once, let him tell me clearly how and in what respect we have been wronged by this. He will have no statement to make; for if he had had, he would have sputtered it out before anything else. Quite the reverse of his charge is true. Those who were quarreling at that time and causing all the trouble were Trebellius and Dolabella: Antony did no wrong and was active in every way in our behalf, so much so that he was entrusted by us with guarding the city against those very men, and not only did this remarkable orator not oppose it (he was there) but even approved it. Else let him show what syllable he uttered on seeing the licentious and accursed fellow (to quote from his abuse), besides doing nothing that the occasion required, securing also so great authority from you. He will have nothing to show. So it looks as if not a word of what he now shouts aloud was ventured at that time by this great and patriotic orator, who is everywhere and always saying and repeating: 'I alone am contending for freedom, I alone speak freely for the democracy; I cannot be restrained by favor of friends or fear of enemies from looking out for your advantage; I, even if it should be my lot to die in speaking in your behalf, will perish very gladly.' And his silence was very natural, for it occurred to him to reflect that Antony possessed the lictors and the purple-bordered vesture in accordance with the customs of our ancestors in regard to masters of horse, and that he was using the sword and the soldiers perforce against the rebels. For what most excessive outrages would they not have committed but for his being hedged about with these protections, when some of them so despised him as it was?
[-17-] "That these and all his other acts were correct and most thoroughly in accord with Caesar's intention the facts themselves show. The rebellion went no further, and Antony, far from paying a penalty for his course, was subsequently appointed consul. Notice, I beg of you, how he administered this office of his. You will find, if you scrutinize the matter minutely, that its tenure proved of great value to the city. His traducer, knowing this, could not endure his jealousy but dared to slander him for those deeds which he would have longed to do himself. That is why he introduced the matter of his stripping and anointing and those ancient fables, not because there was any pertinence in them now, but in order to obscure by external noise his opponent's consummate skill and success. Yet this same Antony, O thou earth, and ye gods (I shall call louder than you and invoke them with greater justice), saw that the city was already in reality under a tyranny through the fact that all the legions obeyed Caesar and all the people together with the senate submitted to him to such an extent that they voted among other measures that he should be dictator for life and use the appurtenances of a king. Then he showed Caesar his error most convincingly and restrained him most prudently, until the latter, abashed and afraid, would not accept either the name of king or the diadem, which he had in mind to bestow upon himself even against our will. Any other man would have declared that he had been ordered to do it by his master, and putting forward the compulsion as an excuse would have obtained pardon for it,—yes, indeed, he would, when you think of what kind of votes we had passed at that time and what power the soldiers had secured. Antony, however, because he was thoroughly acquainted with Caesar's disposition and accurately aware of all he was preparing to do, by great good judgment succeeded in turning him aside from his course and retarding his ambitions. The proof of it is that afterward he no longer behaved in any way like a monarch, but mingled publicly and unprotected with us all; and that accounts most of all for the possibility of his meeting the fate that he did.
[-18-] "This is what was done, O Cicero or Cicerulus or Ciceracius or Ciceriscus or Graeculus[17] or whatever you like to be called, by the uneducated, the naked, the anointed man: and none of it was done by you, the clever, the wise, the user of much more olive oil than wine, you who let your clothing drag about your ankles not, by Jupiter, as the dancers do, who teach you intricacies of reasoning by their poses, but in order to hide the ugliness of your legs. Oh no, it's not through modesty that you do this, you who delivered that long screed about Antony's habits. Who is there that does not see these soft clothes of yours? Who does not scent your carefully combed gray locks? Who is there unaware that you put away your first wife who had borne you two children, and at an advanced age married another, a mere girl, in order that you might pay your debts out of her property? And you did not even retain her, to the end that you might keep Caerellia fearlessly, whom you debauched when she was as much older than yourself as the maiden you married was younger, and to whom you write such letters as a jester at no loss for words would write if he were trying to get up an amour with a woman seventy years old. This, which is not altogether to my taste, I have been induced to say, Conscript Fathers, in the hope that he should not go away without getting as good as he sent in the discussion. Again, he has ventured to reproach Antony for a little kind of banquet, because he, as he says, drinks water, his purpose being to sit up at night and compose speeches against us,—though he brings up his son in such drunkenness that the latter is sober neither night nor day. Furthermore he undertook to make derogatory remarks about Antony's mouth, this man who has shown so great licentiousness and impurity throughout his entire life that he would not keep his hands off even his closest kin, but let out his wife for hire and deflowered his daughter.
[-18-] "These particulars I shall leave as they stand and return to the point where I started. That Antony against whom he has inveighed, seeing Caesar exalted over our government, caused him by granting what seemed personal favors to a friend not to put into effect any of the projects that he had in mind. Nothing so diverts persons from objects which they may attain without caring to secure them righteously, as for those who fear such results to appear to endure the former's conduct willingly. These persons in authority have no regard for their own consciousness of guilt, but if they think they have been detected, they are ashamed and afraid: thereafter they usually take what is said to them as flattery and believe the opposite, and any action which may result from the words as a plot, being suspicious in the midst of their shame. Antony knew this thoroughly, and first of all he selected the Lupercalia and that procession in order that Caesar in the relaxation of his spirit and the fun of the affair might be rebuked with immunity, and next he selected the Forum and the rostra that his patron might be shamed by the very places. And he fabricated the commands from the populace, in order that hearing them Caesar might reflect not on what Antony was saying at the time, but on what the Roman people would order a man to say. How could he have believed that this injunction had really been laid upon any one, when he knew that the people had not voted anything of the kind and did not hear them shouting out. But it was right for him to hear this in the Roman Forum, where we had often joined in many deliberations for freedom, and beside the rostra from which we had sent forth thousands and thousands of measures in behalf of the democracy, and at the festival of the Lupercalia, in order that he should remember Romulus, and from the mouth of the consul that he might call to mind the deeds of the early consuls, and in the name of the people, that he might ponder the fact that he was undertaking to be tyrant not over Africans or Gauls or Egyptians, but over very Romans. These words made him turn about; they humiliated him. And whereas if any one else had offered him the diadem, he might have taken it, he was then stopped short by that speech and felt a shudder of alarm.
"These, then are the deeds of Antony: he did not uselessly break a leg, in order himself to escape, nor burn off a hand, in order to frighten Porsenna, but by his cleverness and consummate skill he put an end to the tyranny of Caesar better than any spear of Decius and better than the sword of Brutus. [-20-] But you, Cicero, what did you effect in your consulship, not to mention wise and good things, that was not deserving of the greatest punishment? Did you not throw our city into uproar and party strife when it was quiet and harmonious, and fill the Forum and Capitol with slaves, among others, that you had called to your aid? Did you not ruin miserably Catiline, who was overanxious for office, but otherwise guilty of no violence? Did you not pitiably destroy Lentulus and his followers, who were not guilty, not tried, and not convicted, in spite of the fact that you are always and everywhere prating interminably about the laws and about the courts? If any one should take these phrases from your speeches, there is nothing left. You censured Pompey because he conducted the trial of Milo contrary to legalized precedent: yet you afforded Lentulus no privilege great or small that is enjoined in these cases, but without a speech or trial you cast him into prison, a man respectable, aged, whose ancestors had given many great pledges that he would be friendly to his country, and who by reason of his age and his character had no power to do anything revolutionary. What trouble did he have that would have been cured by the change of condition? What blessing did he possess that would not certainly be jeopardized by rebellion? What arms had he collected, what allies had he equipped, that a man who had been consul and was praetor should be so pitilessly and impiously cast into a cell without being allowed to say a word of defence or hear a single charge, and die there like the basest criminals? For this is what this excellent Tullius most of all desired,—that in [the Tullianum,] the place that bears his name, he might put to death the grandson of that Lentulus once became the head of the senate. [-21-] What would he have done if he had obtained authority to bear arms, seeing that he accomplished so many things of such a nature by his words alone? These are your brilliant achievements, these are your great exhibitions of generalship; and not only were you condemned for them by the rest, but you were so ready to vote against your own self in the matter that you fled before your trial came on. Yet what greater demonstration of your bloodguiltiness could there be than that you came in danger of perishing at the hands of those very persons in whose behalf you pretended you had done this, that you were afraid of the very ones whom you said you had benefited by these acts, and that you did not wait to hear from them or say a word to them, you clever, you extraordinary man, you aider of other people, but secured your safety by flight as if from a battle? And you are so shameless that you have undertaken to write a history of these events that I have related, whereas you ought to have prayed that no other man even should give an account of any of them: then you might at least derive this advantage, that your doings should die with you and no memory of them be transmitted to posterity. Now, gentlemen, if you want to laugh, listen to his clever device. He set himself the task of writing a history of the entire existence of the city (for he pretends to be a sophist and poet and philosopher and orator and historian), and he began not from the founding of it, like the rest are similarly busied, but from his own consulship, so that he might proceed backwards, making that the beginning of his account, and the kingdom of Romulus the end.