[Sidenote:—12—] ¶ A golden statue of False Antoninus was erected, distinguished by its great and varied adornment.
¶ Macrinus, though he found considerable money in the treasury, squandered it all, and incomes did not suffice for expenditures.
[Sidenote: A.D. 219 (a.u. 972)] [Sidenote:—9—] As to his marriage. He espoused Cornelia Paula in order that he might sooner (these are his words) become a father,—he, who could not even be a man. On the occasion of his marriage not only the senate and the equestrian order but also the wives of the senators received some distribution of presents. The people were given a banquet at the per capita rate of one hundred and fifty denarii, and the soldiers had one that cost a hundred more. There were contests of gladiators at which the prince wore a purple-bordered toga, the same as he had done at the ludi votivi. Various beasts were slain, among them an elephant and fifty-one tigers, a greater number than had ever yet been despatched at one time. Afterwards he dismissed Paula on the pretext that she had some blemish on her person and cohabited with Aqulia Severa,—a most flagrant breach of law. She was consecrated to Vesta and yet he most sinfully ravished her and actually dared to say: "I did it in order that godlike children may spring from me, the high-priest, and from her, the high-priestess." He felicitated himself on an act which was destined to lead to his being maltreated in the Forum and thrown into prison and subsequently put to death. However, he did not keep even this woman for long, but married a second, and then a third, and still another; after that he went back to Severa.
[Sidenote:—10—] Portents had been taking place in Rome, one of them on the statue of Isis, which is borne upon a dog above the pediment of her temple: it consisted in her turning her face towards the interior.—Sardanapalus was conducting games and numerous spectacles, in which Helix, the athlete, won renown. How far he surpassed his adversaries is shown by his wishing to contend in both wrestling and pancratium at Olympia, and by his winning victories in both at the Capitolina. The Eleans, being jealous of him, and through fear that he might prove the eighth from Hercules (as the saying is), [Footnote: The history and significance of this proverb are not known.] would not call any wrestler into the stadium, in spite of their having inscribed this contest on the bulletin-board. But in Rome he won each of the two games,—a feat that no one else had accomplished.
[Sidenote:—11—] And here I must omit mention of the barbaric chants which Sardanapalus chanted to Elagabalus, and his mother and grandmother, all three, as also of the secret sacrifices that he offered to him: at these he slaughtered boys, and used charms, besides shutting up in the god's temple a live lion and monkey and snake, throwing in among them human genitals, and practicing other unholy rites, while he wore invariably innumerable amulets. [Sidenote:—12—] But to run briefly over these matters, he actually (most ridiculous of all) courted a wife for Elagabalus, on the assumption that the god wanted marriage and children. Such a wife might be neither poor nor low-born, and so he chose the Carthaginian Urania, summoned her to come thence, and established her in the palace. He gathered wedding gifts for her from all his subjects, as he might have done in the case of his own wives. All these presents that were given during his lifetime were exacted later, but in the way of dowry he declared that nothing should be brought save the gold lions, which were melted down.
[Sidenote:—13—] But this Sardanapalus, who thought it right to make the gods cohabit under the form of marriage, himself lived from first to last most licentiously. [He married many women] and had liaisons with many more [without any lawful title], yet it was not that he cared about them; he simply wanted to imitate their actions when he should lie with his lovers [and get accomplices in his excesses by returning to them indiscriminately]. He used his body for doing and allowing many unheard of things which no one would endure telling or hearing, but his most conspicuous acts, which it would be impossible to conceal, were the following. He would go by night, wearing a wig of long hair, into the taverns and ply the trade of a female huckster. He frequented the notorious brothels, drove out the prostitutes, and prostituted himself. Finally, he set aside a room in the palace and there committed his indecencies, standing all the time naked at the door of it, as the harlots do, and shaking the curtain, which was fastened by gold rings, the while in a soft and melting voice he solicited the passers-by. Certain persons had been given special orders to let themselves be attracted to his abode. For, as in other matters, so in this business, too, he had numerous detectives through whom he sought out the persons who could please him most by their foulness. He would collect money from his Patrons and put on airs over his gains: he would also dispute with his associates in this shameful occupation, saying that he had more lovers than they and took in more money. [Sidenote:—14—] This is the way he behaved to all alike that enjoyed his services. But he had, besides, one chosen man whom he accordingly desired to appoint Cæsar.
Also, arrayed in the Green uniform, he drove a chariot privately and at home,—if one can call that place home where contests were conducted by the foremost of his suite [and knights and Cæsarians], the very prefects, his grandmother, his mother, his women, and likewise several members of the senate, including Leo, the præfectus urbi, and where they watched him playing charioteer and begging gold coin like any vagabond, and bowing down before the managers of the games and the members of the factions.
[Now in trying anybody in court he really did have the appearance of a man, but everywhere else his actions and the quality of his voice showed the wantonness of youth. For instance, he used to dance not only in the orchestra but more or less also while walking, performing sacrifice, greeting friends or making speeches.
And finally (to go back now to the story which I began) he was bestowed in marriage and was termed wife, mistress, queen. He worked in wool, sometimes wore a hair-net, painted his eyes [daubing them with white lead and alkanet], and once he shaved his chin and celebrated a festival to mark the event. After that he went with smooth face, because it would help him appear like a woman, and he often reclined while greeting the senators. [Sidenote:—15—] "Her" husband was Hierocles, a Carian slave [once the favorite of Gordius], from whom he had learned chariot-driving. It was in this connection, also, that by a most unexpected chance he won the imperial approbation. At a horse-race Heirocles fell out of his chariot just opposite the seat of Sardanapalus, losing his helmet in his fall. Being still beardless and adorned with a crown of yellow hair, he attracted the attention of the prince and was at once carried hastily to the palace; and by his nocturnal feats he captivated Sardanapalus more than ever and rose to still greater power. Consequently his influence became even greater than his patron's and it was thought a small thing that his mother, while still a slave, should be brought to Rome by soldiers and be numbered among the wives of ex-consuls. Certain other persons, too, were not seldom honored by the emperor and became powerful, some because they had joined in his uprising and others because they committed adultery with him. For he was anxious to have the reputation of committing adultery, that in this respect, too, he might imitate the most lascivious women; and he would often get caught voluntarily and in the very act. Then, for his conduct, he would be brutally abused by his husband and would be beaten, so that he had black eyes. His affection for this "husband" was no light inclination, but a serious matter and a firmly fixed passion, so much so that he did not become vexed at any such harsh treatment, but on the contrary loved him the more for it and actually wished to appoint him Cæsar;—he threatened his grandmother when she interfered, and chiefly on this man's account he became at odds with the soldiers. It was this that was destined to lead his destruction.
[Sidenote:—16—] As for Aurelius Zoticus, a native of Smyrna, whom they also called "Cook" (from his father's trade), he incurred the sovereign's thorough love and thorough hatred, and consequently his life was saved. This Aurelius had a body that was beautiful all over, as if ready for a gymnastic contest, and he surpassed everybody in the size of his private parts. The fact was reported to the emperor by those who were on the lookout for such features and the man was suddenly snatched away from the games and taken to Rome, accompanied by an immense procession, larger than Abgarus had in the reign of Severus or Tiridates in that of Nero. He was appointed cubicularius before he had been even seen by the emperor, [was honored by the name of his grandfather, Avitus, was adorned with garlands as at a festival,] and entered the palace the center of a great glare of lights. Sardanapalus, on seeing him, rose with modesty; the newcomer addressed him, as was usual, "My Lord Emperor, hail!" whereupon the other, bending his neck so as to assume a ravishing feminine pose, and turning his eyes wide open upon him, answered without hesitation: "Call me Not Lord, for I am a Lady." Then Sardanapalus immediately took a bath with him, and, finding his guest when stripped to correspond to the report of him, burned with even greater lust, reposed upon his breast, and took dinner, like some loved mistress, in his bosom. Hierocles began to fear that Zoticus would bring the emperor into a greater state of subjection than he himself was able to effect, and that he might suffer some terrible fate at his hands, as often happens in the case of rival lovers. Therefore he had the wine-bearers, who were well-disposed to him, administer some drug that abated the visitor's ferocity. And so Zoticus after a whole night of embarrassment, being unable to secure an erection, was deprived of all that he had obtained, and was driven out of the palace, out of Rome, and later out of the remainder of Italy; and this saved his life. [However, the emperor drove himself to such a frenzy of lewdness that he asked the physicians to contrive a woman's vagina in his person by means of an incision, and held out to them the hope of great pay for this achievement.]