Money enables the rich to gain many advantages, which those of more limited circumstances cannot secure. One of these, is, securing good domestics, by offering high wages; and this, as the scarcity of this class increases, will serve constantly to raise the price of service. It is right for domestics to charge the market value, and this value is always decided by the scarcity of the article and the amount of demand. Right views of this subject, will sometimes serve to diminish hard feelings towards those, who would otherwise be wrongfully regarded as unreasonable and exacting.
Another complaint against domestics, is, that of instability and discontent, leading to perpetual change. But in reference to this, let a mother or daughter conceive of their own circumstances as so changed, that the daughter must go out to service. Suppose a place is engaged, and it is then found that she must sleep in a comfortless garret; and that, when a new domestic comes, perhaps a coarse and dirty foreigner, she must share her bed with her. Another place is offered, where she can have a comfortable room, and an agreeable room-mate; in such a case, would not both mother and daughter think it right to change?
Or, suppose, on trial, it was found that the lady of the house was fretful, or exacting, and hard to please; or, that her children were so ungoverned, as to be perpetual vexations; or, that the work was so heavy, that no time was allowed for relaxation and the care of a wardrobe;—and another place offers, where these evils can be escaped: would not mother and daughter here think it right to change? And is it not right for domestics, as well as their employers, to seek places, where they can be most comfortable?
In some cases, this instability and love of change would be remedied, if employers would take more pains to make a residence with them agreeable; and to attach domestics to the family, by feelings of gratitude and affection. There are ladies, even where well-qualified domestics are most rare, who seldom find any trouble in keeping good and steady ones. And the reason is, that their domestics know they cannot better their condition, by any change within reach. It is not merely by giving them comfortable rooms, and good food, and presents, and privileges, that the attachment of domestics is secured; it is by the manifestation of a friendly and benevolent interest in their comfort and improvement. This is exhibited, in bearing patiently with their faults; in kindly teaching them how to improve; in showing them how to make and take proper care of their clothes; in guarding their health; in teaching them to read, if necessary, and supplying them with proper books; and, in short, by endeavoring, so far as may be, to supply the place of parents. It is seldom that such a course would fail to secure steady service, and such affection and gratitude, that even higher wages would be ineffectual to tempt them away. There would probably be some cases of ungrateful returns; but there is no doubt that the course indicated, if generally pursued, would very much lessen the evil in question.
Another subject of complaint, in regard to domestics, is, their pride, insubordination, and spirit not conformed to their condition. They are not willing to be called servants; in some places, they claim a seat, at meals, with the family; they imitate a style of dress unbecoming their condition; and their manners and address are rude and disrespectful. That these evils are very common, among this class of persons, cannot be denied; the only question is, how can they best be met and remedied.
In regard to the common feeling among domestics, which is pained and offended by being called "servants," there is need of some consideration and allowance. It should be remembered, that, in this Country, children, from their earliest years, are trained to abhor slavery, in reference to themselves, as the greatest of all possible shame and degradation. They are perpetually hearing orations, songs, and compositions of all sorts, which set forth the honor and dignity of freemen, and heap scorn and contempt on all who would be so mean as to be slaves. Now the term servant, and the duties it involves, are, in the minds of many persons, nearly the same as those of slave. And there are few minds, entirely free from associations which make servitude a degradation. It is not always pride, then, which makes this term so offensive. It is a consequence of that noble and generous spirit of freedom, which every American draws from his mother's breast, and which ought to be respected, rather than despised. In order to be respected, by others, we must respect ourselves; and sometimes the ruder classes of society make claims, deemed forward and offensive, when, with their views, such a position seems indispensable to preserve a proper self-respect.
Where an excessive sensibility on this subject exists, and forward and disrespectful manners result from it, the best remedy is, a kind attempt to give correct views, such as better-educated minds are best able to attain. It should be shown to them, that, in this Country, labor has ceased to be degrading, in any class; that, in all classes, different grades of subordination must exist; and that it is no more degrading, for a domestic to regard the heads of a family as superiors in station, and treat them with becoming respect, than it is for children to do the same, or for men to treat their rulers with respect and deference. They should be taught, that domestics use a different entrance to the house, and sit at a distinct table, not because they are inferior beings, but because this is the best method of securing neatness, order, and convenience. They can be shown, if it is attempted in a proper spirit and manner, that these very regulations really tend to their own ease and comfort, as well as to that of the family.
The writer has known a case, where the lady of the family, for the sake of convincing her domestic of the truth of these views, allowed her to follow her own notions, for a short time, and join the family at meals. It was merely required, as a condition, that she should always dress her hair as the other ladies did, and appear in a clean dress, and abide by all the rules of propriety at table, which the rest were required to practise, and which were duly detailed. The experiment was tried, two or three times; and, although the domestic was treated with studious politeness and kindness, she soon felt that she should be much more comfortable in the kitchen, where she could talk, eat, and dress, as she pleased. A reasonable domestic can also be made to feel the propriety of allowing opportunity for the family to talk freely of their private affairs, when they meet at meals, as they never could do, if restrained by the constant presence of a stranger. Such views, presented in a kind and considerate manner, will often entirely change the views of a domestic, who is sensitive on such subjects.
When a domestic is forward and bold in manners, and disrespectful in address, a similar course can be pursued. It can be shown, that those, who are among the best-bred and genteel, have courteous and respectful manners and language to all they meet, while many, who have wealth, are regarded as vulgar, because they exhibit rude and disrespectful manners. The very term, gentleman, indicates the refinement and delicacy of address, which distinguishes the high-bred from the coarse and vulgar.
In regard to appropriate dress, in most cases it is difficult for an employer to interfere, directly, with comments or advice. The most successful mode, is, to offer some service in mending or making a wardrobe, and when a confidence in the kindness of feeling is thus gained, remarks and suggestions will generally be properly received, and new views of propriety and economy can be imparted. In some cases, it may be well for an employer,—who, from appearances, anticipates difficulty of this kind,—in making the agreement, to state that she wishes to have the room, person, and dress of her domestics kept neat, and in order, and that she expects to remind them of their duty, in this particular, if it is neglected. Domestics are very apt to neglect the care of their own chambers and clothing; and such habits have a most pernicious influence on their wellbeing, and on that of their children in future domestic life. An employer, then, is bound to exercise a parental care over them, in these respects.