Letters to Persons Who Are Engaged in Domestic Service

by Catharine Esther Beecher

In the evenings, this domestic employs herself in the care of her own wardrobe, and finds some leisure time to read the books and papers that are abundantly supplied. In this way she stores her mind with useful and entertaining knowledge, so that this, with her native sense and shrewdness, makes her society agreeable and valued by the best educated persons.

It is true she has her frailties—for who is perfect? But these excellencies seem so to cover them over, that they are almost forgotten. Now the consequence of all this is, that more pains is taken in that family, to make this domestic comfortable and contented than is given to almost any other person. She is always treated with respect and kindness, and as she is never unreasonable in her requests, whatever she

expresses a desire for, is always secured for her if possible. Her chamber, her kitchen, and all her comforts are carefully provided for, and the children would no more invade her rights, or treat her with disrespect, than they would treat their parents thus.

Now, I believe there are hundreds in this land, who, if they could get such a domestic as this, would agree to pay her almost any thing she, or any one would think of asking. Money, if it could secure such a domestic, would be of little account, with the multitudes, who now find that wealth cannot secure for them the services needed to make home comfortable.

You will now understand why I would advise, as the surest way of raising the respectability of your employment, to raise the character of domestics. Whenever a time comes in which such a domestic as the one I have described, is a fair picture of the whole class, it is very certain that the respect and regard that should be given to this employment, never will be withheld.

I have heard ladies of great good sense, and in the highest circles in our land, talk in

this manner: “Now if I only could find domestics who are intelligent, well-bred, neat in dress and person, and who so understand the proprieties of their station as to set a good example to my children, I should not have the least objection to their sitting in my parlour, or at my table, whenever it was convenient, nor to treating them in all respects as the friends and companions of my children. But such domestics we cannot find.”

This single remark will show to you the reason why there often is a necessity of making so much difference between the situation of employers and domestics, as is generally seen in the most wealthy and intelligent circles. Parents, in the best society, wish to have their children trained so as to appear properly in the circles in which they move. For this end they strive to make them neat in dress and person, polite and respectful in manners, particularly in the use of refined and grammatical language, and careful to observe propriety in their behaviour at table and in society. Now if they could get domestics who would set a good example before their children, in these

respects, it would be very agreeable to them to have them in the parlour and at table with the children, whenever it was convenient. But if domestics neglect their person, if their dress is negligent and untidy, if they are rough and coarse in their manners, and rude and disrespectful in address, if they use incorrect language and neglect the rules of propriety at table and in society, there is a very good reason for excluding them from the table and parlour, where their example would injure children and be offensive and disagreeable to visitors.

And it is a benefit to domestics that such feelings exist, for it tends to encourage them to try to be neat, tidy, well-bred and well educated. If there were no advantages to be gained by a good education and good manners, no one would try to gain them. This is one reason why God has appointed it, that the more we improve in these respects, the more our estimation in society, and our comfort in all respects will be increased.