present governor and says, “Will your excellency allow me to go away a short time on some important business?” The governor replies, “Not at present, sir; I am about to order a manœuvre and shall need your aid.” The gentleman bows respectfully to the governor, returns to his place, and instead of feeling degraded, he feels honoured in thus setting an example of respectful obedience to one, who for the time is his superior, and has rule over him. And all observers honour him, far more than they would if he had looked angry, or refused to obey his superior in command. Real gentlemen pride themselves on rendering strict obedience, and respectful language and manners to all, who are in any manner their superiors in office or relationship.
In like manner, real well bred ladies, feel it to be for their own credit to treat those with courtesy or respect, who have any claims either of character or relationship, or office. See that wealthy, well educated and well bred lady! A worthy, respectable woman comes into her house to bring home some work that she was hired to do. The lady salutes her
with courtesy and respect, offers her a seat, and treats her with the same politeness of manner as she would render to the highest lady in the land. And every observer feels that this is one mark of her good breeding, which entitles her to the name of a “real lady.”
Look now at that young woman! Why does every one call her vulgar and ill bred? It is because she goes up with a careless and disrespectful air to all she meets, and her tone and manner seem to say, “I am as good as you, and I mean to let you know it.” She tells just what she thinks about them, and their conduct, contradicts their opinions flatly, and makes no effort to show that she has any respect for them or their notions. Look now at her young companion, whom all admire for lady-like manners. She always speaks in a modest and respectful tone, treats all with courtesy and respect, seems to be thinking of the convenience and comfort of others as much as of her own, and always avoids what will make those around her feel uneasy or uncomfortable. These are the manners of a lady, and if a domestic feels any ambition to be thought a well
bred lady, she can gain this character in no way so surely as by adopting this style of manners.
On this point I would commend to your notice that “golden rule” so good to direct in all our pursuits: “Do unto others as you would that others should do unto you.”
Now if you ever have a family yourself, and have persons to help you, would you not think it right and proper that they should do your work as you wished it done?—and would you not feel that it was proper that your children should treat you with respect, and that your domestics should set them a proper example in this particular? No doubt you would, and therefore do unto your employers as you would that others should do unto you, if your circumstances are changed and you become employer instead of domestic.
There is an advantage to yourselves in doing this, that you are not apt to realize. A habit is the ease we acquire in doing any thing by frequently practising it. Now, as one of the chief indications of good breeding is polite and respectful manners, if you practise this mode of address to your employers, you are
gradually forming a habit that will make such a mode of address easy and natural. This will be qualifying you to appear with advantage among well bred and well educated people. Now it very often happens, in this country, that a woman who goes to service, marries a sensible, industrious and business man, who, after some years, acquires that wealth and influence that bring him and his family to associate with the best educated and best bred people in the place where he lives. In this case, a person, who in the capacity of a domestic, has cultivated the manners proper for a domestic, will find that they are exactly the manners that fit her to appear like a well bred lady, in the higher sphere to which she has risen.
On the contrary, a domestic, who is rude and disrespectful in her mode of address, and unwilling to appear as if she honoured and respected those who have the rule over a family, never can appear otherwise than as a coarse and vulgar person, however much her husband’s wealth and character may raise her in society. It is therefore as much for your own advantage, as it is for that of your employers and their