I will therefore point out some of those respects, in which you need to attend to your manners, in order to be a good example to children, and to be fitted to appear well in any society in which in after life you may appear.
Good manners are the outward expression of kindness and good will, by which we endeavour to promote the enjoyment of others, and to avoid all that gives needless pain. Good manners lead us to avoid every thing that offends the taste of others, and to regard all the rules of politeness and propriety. Good manners lead us to avoid all rude and coarse language or actions, and to refrain from all remarks that would trouble those about us in any way.
I will now point out some particulars. In the first place, there are rules of good manners in regard to our superiors in age, character, station or office, which demand attention. In addressing such, it is proper to speak in a respectful tone and manner, and to add “sir” and “ma’am” to “yes” and “no” when we reply to them. This should be done by young persons to older ones, by children to parents, by scholars to teachers, and by domestics to their
employers, and to visitors in the family. At the same time, it is proper to offer the best accommodations of all kinds to one who is thus to be treated as a superior.
Another rule of good manners is, to return thanks to any person who does us any kindness. It is deemed very ill bred to receive a present, or any little act of attention, without any manifestation of pleasure or gratitude.
Another rule is, never to use what belongs to another without asking leave, and never to ask questions about the business or dress, or concerns of other people, unless we are on intimate terms with them. Another rule of good breeding is, never to make remarks to others on their personal defects, or dress, or faults, and never to speak in such a way of their opinions, or their friends, as to vex or mortify them.
Always, when persons speak to you, look them in the face, and reply in a courteous manner. Never laugh or whisper in company so that others cannot hear, lest they may imagine that you are ridiculing them, or speaking against them. Loud laughing and
talking in company, and whispering, and smiling at church, are deemed rude and vulgar. Interrupting a person when talking, and flatly contradicting, are considered rude.
There are some personal tricks which should be avoided, as vulgar and offensive, such as fingering the hair, picking the teeth, or cleaning the nails, picking the nose, spitting on the floor, snuffing, instead of using the handkerchief, or using the handkerchief in a disgusting manner, fingering the shoes, throwing about the feet, lolling on chairs, tipping chairs backward, staring at people, calling persons by nicknames, running out bareheaded into the street, calling to persons in the street, running in the street, and eating in the street, or in a public assembly.
Another branch of good breeding relates to table manners. When at table, avoid all these things: reaching over the plates of others; standing up to reach articles; instead of asking to have them passed to you; using your own knife for butter or salt, when it is the custom of the family to use a butter knife and salt spoon; setting dripping cups on the table cloth