Almost all domestics have more or less to do with the children of a family, so that though
what I write is most important to those who nurse and take care of children, it should be deeply pondered by all.
The greatest and most important requisite in all who have the care of children is patience. Children have come into a world where every thing is new to them—where they cannot understand the mischief they make,—and more than all this, they are so thoughtless and forgetful, that they cannot remember when they do discover what is dangerous or wrong, as older minds can do.
Suppose you were suddenly put in a vast kitchen, with ten thousand new utensils to work with, and new sorts of work to do, and all the time in danger of doing something wrong—or forgetting something you were told. You would feel puzzled, and sometimes out of patience, and you would think it very hard if those who employed you had no patience, and no sympathy for you, in such difficult circumstances. You would think that you were more to be pitied than blamed, when you forgot, or made mistakes. And if your employers spoke kindly to you, and always seemed to feel for
your difficulties, and to be patient with your forgetfulness, you would find it much easier to do your duty.
Now children are in just such a situation. Just observe young children for one day, and see how many times they have to be told that they are doing wrong! Poor things!—they are ignorant, and forgetful, and have a thousand things to learn and to remember. And they often are blamed and found fault with for something every hour, and a great deal more than grown persons could bear. Have patience with them, and as much as possible keep from speaking in cross and angry tones.
I know persons who make it a rule never to speak cross to children. Instead of this, they wait till their own feelings are calm, and then kindly speak to them of their faults. And when they see a child doing mischief, instead of calling out in sharp and angry tones, they go up and take hold of the child and stop its mischief—or set it up in a chair—and take care not to speak till it can be done in a calm and gentle way. Children who are managed by such persons, have an example of patience,
gentleness and kindness before them that has a great influence.
And when such persons tell children that they must not act angry and speak cross, when any thing troubles them, it does far more good than it could do, if they see their advisers set them an example just contrary to their instructions.
One of the most successful ways of making children behave well is, to keep them good natured and happy. Very often, when children feel peevish, and when they get into contentions, some amusing story, or play, will make them good natured, and then all will go smooth again. Whereas, if those who take care of them fret at them, and tell them they are naughty and disagreeable, it only adds to their trouble and vexation, and makes them act worse rather than better. I have seen a person taking care of children, manage in this way.