The Plumber
Figures.
Mrs. Hoggins.
Mr. Plapper.
Jim, the Plumber.
Robert, the Policeman.
Bridget, the Maid.
With these five characters and a suitable amount of talking an amusing sketch can be given. The following is a mild suggestion of what can be done, but you will find that it can be made very much funnier when actually performed.
Scene, a House ([Fig. 16]).
Mrs. Hoggins emerges, loudly complaining that a pipe has burst and spoiled her nice new carpet. She blames everybody in the neighborhood, not omitting Mr. Hoggins, who is in town. “Just like a man: never here when he is wanted.”
She calls Bridget, and tells her to run for the plumber. Bridget seems unable to understand. “Sure, Mum, and the grocer came this mornin’ and ye didn’t want any fruit!” Mrs. Hoggins then explains matters with considerable volubility, and Bridget departs.
Mr. Plapper rushes out, waving his arm, and complaining that his house will be ruined by the overflowing water. The drawing-room ceiling has already come down. He sees Mrs. Hoggins, and asks her heatedly what she means by it. That lady replies suitably, and they wrangle until the plumber comes, when Mr. Plapper retires with a few sarcastic remarks.
Jim, the plumber, listens to Mrs. Hoggins’ explanation, and disappears into the house to see what he can do, only to reappear in a moment, remarking that he must go home to fetch his hammer. He accordingly leaves the stage.
Mr. Plapper returns with a policeman, relating matters so excitedly that Robert is not quite sure whether it is a case of fire or merely a murder. He enters the house, and Plapper abuses the plumber, who, returning at this moment, thoroughly enters into the spirit of the fray.