I did not quite understand myself then, and I find it hard even now to say what prompted me to keep sexually clean. I in no way avoided opportunities, as in my desire for knowledge I would often with some acquaintance or friend visit the haunts of the demi-monde and underworld; I do not say it was necessary to seek such opportunities. The society we naturally consorted with differed strangely little in essentials.
I have seen a man, head of a noble family, deliberately cheat at cards; and I have experienced the disagreeable duty of refusing the amorous advances of more than one grande dame.
I, personally, find much blame for the man, and very little condemnation for the woman, for the craving of sex must be the most difficult of all to fight, and conquer.
As I have said, we studied four great nations in two years, superficially, of course; but the knowledge we gained was good. One subject in particular I had given my whole attention to, whenever possible: war, chiefly in the way of preparation for attack or defence.
It was extremely interesting to me to discuss with Mr. Neville, or with a soldier if possible, the defences of any place.
Of course, as outsiders, we were never allowed to inspect any of the fortified places of Europe, but we would discuss them nevertheless, and I was always trying to find the best plan of defence for these places. The military portion of the friends we made seemed much amused with me; I don't know why, unless it was my eagerness. All the same they entered into the fun of "drawing a civilian," and bantered me unmercifully, which I know was excellent for me.
I remember once, when motoring through France, entering into a heated discussion with a celebrated French General; I refuse to allow for one moment that I wanted to lay down the law, although Mr. Neville did suggest it afterwards. This General, no doubt immensely amused by me, pulled out a map of the district through which we were travelling.
"Now," he said, "supposing you had a force of so many men, with so many guns, here," he jabbed with his finger, "and the enemy were here and here, with so many men and guns, what would you do?"
This was a game I had often played, and I looked eagerly at the map--there and there the enemy; my forces here. It was impossible to do anything except surrender. I looked again.
"Where were my forces before they arrived in that position, in which direction were they travelling, and with what object?"