At which he smiled and left me.
I began my preparations. As a rule, I dress very quickly, but to-night nothing went right; my studs slipped on to the floor in the maddening way which studs have, and could only be discovered after a long and temper-trying search, but the worst offender amongst my garments was my tie; with that I wrestled for a quarter of an hour at least, then I looked at myself in the glass and said out loud, "She may not care for me," which explains my want of success--my mind was concentrated on something else.
Did she care for me? could she care for me? would she care for me? was it possible to make her care for me as I did for her? I knew by then that I was in love. I also knew that I wanted to ask Irma to marry me, and there I stuck and realised that I was afraid.
I tried to tie a neat bow, and failed; again, with the same result; then I tore the offending strip of material off and threw it away from me. I remember feeling grieved that it did not travel far through the air, and, as soon as I realised I felt that about it, my sense of humour came to my rescue, and I roared with laughter at my own stupidity. Picking up the tie, I tried again with immediate success, so the strip of fabric did grace my royal neck after all.
I asked the Prince whether he could let us have horses early next morning, as I had been recalled, and after having promised them he expressed his sorrow at our departure:
"Loyal Bornian as I am, your Majesty, I have grieved sometimes lately that I was not born a Rudarlian."
"I wish well that it had been so, Prince; but, now that your daughter will be living in Karena, you must look upon it as your second home."
Dinner was not as satisfactory a meal as tea had been; for the life of me I could not frivol as I had done, and Sonia and Landsberg, I fancy, were too happy; the other three did nobly, however. When the Prince asked me how far we expected to get the next day, I said as far as Ruln, and looked instinctively at the Princess. I don't know what I hoped, perhaps that she would give some sign of her feelings, but she only looked up swiftly and said:
"Are you leaving us then?"
"Yes," I answered cheerfully, although my heart had sunk to my boots. "You see I am not allowed too long a holiday, for fear that I should get lost."