I did not want to be their leader, but the idea wanted it and ordained that I should be its apostle. When I was tired, when I felt down-hearted and doubt assailed me, whenever I felt unworthy of the call, I always remembered that the love for one’s country and people which is put into one’s soul is the measure of what one is able to achieve. It will succeed, it must succeed; and my voice, broken with much speaking, recovered before another meeting at the other end of the town, and women who had heard me already ran in front of me in the street, so that when I reached the new meeting they were waiting for me there, and listened to me again.
Late at night, dead tired, I struggle home, and flee to my mother for rest. We sit for a long time in the little green room, and she encourages me if I am weary, and she always finds the word that heals. Then, late, we go to sleep. The evening is long and gives me rest. I speak of my wanderings—and what I had felt dimly, as if in a haze, while my fatigue lasted, revives with imperative insistence, and I can think of nothing else.
To-day a new misfortune has overtaken Hungary. The French Colonel Vyx, who has lately come to Budapest as head of the Entente’s military mission, has sent a memorandum to the Hungarian Government, which contains the price of the Czechs’ high-treason. The victorious Powers claim from Hungary the evacuation of all Upper Hungary, because they recognise the sovereignty of the Czecho-Slovak State and consider its army as an allied army....
I could hardly stop myself from trembling: a wave of utter sorrow and degradation passed over me. The heralds of right and justice, the new saviours of the world, regardless of the conditions of the armistice, simply order us to deliver up our country’s great outpost, the Carpathians and eighteen of our most lovely counties, to those who never owned them, who are called the “allies” of the Entente although for many years they had been the main support of Austria’s power, and its chief executioners. We Hungarians could tell a tale about that. After our war of liberation, they, as the secret agents of Austrian absolutism, agents provocateurs, and hangmen plenipotentiary, tortured Hungary’s people more cruelly than any conqueror has ever done. And Venice and Lombardy could tell a tale too. There the memory of imperial torturers, “gli sbirre austriaci,” still haunts the country, and most of those were Czechs. It is they who are responsible for the turn things have taken, and yet, as allied forces of the Allies, they now participate in the execution of the armistice which directs the occupation of the old Monarchy’s territory!
At the beginning of November fifteen complete Hungarian divisions came back from the front. If they were still here....
I was horrified and looked at my mother. She was thinking of the same things as I did. And like people who, sitting up with one whom they love and who is dangerously ill, try to strengthen their faith in his recovery by speaking of times when the patient was strong and healthy, we two began to talk, in our vigil of olden times, of lovely summers in the distant highlands. When we were still children our parents wanted us to get to know every part of our country, and every holiday they found a cosy little nest for us in some different county. Summers in the Carpathians; charming little spas, villages in the forest, quiet, secluded little towns among the mountains.... The green fields of the Mátra ... the Pressburg of Maria Theresa ... the towns of the Zips, and Kassa with its ancient cathedral ... the High Tátra reaching into the clouds ... the wilderness of Bereg ... the forests of Marmaros ... and the heaving waters of the Tisza.... Past lovely summers—past with Hungary’s soul.
But we shall take it back!... And next day I was up again and carried the word to the women and poured my faith into their hearts.
THE VALLEY OF THE GARAM
(GIVEN TO CZECHO-SLOVAKIA BY THE TREATY OF TRIANON).