A KISS IN THE DARK.
In Buckstone’s very amusing farce, “A Kiss in the Dark,” the jealous Pettibone tries a foolish stratagem in order to confirm his unjust suspicions of Mrs. P.’s constancy:
Frank (reading note). “Continue your attentions.” Certainly, as you request it. (Draws close to her; Pettibone again darts in; they retreat as before.)
Pettibone. Shan’t go out at all—I tell you I shan’t go out at all—to-morrow will do. (Sits in centre.) You’ve done as I bid you, I see—eh?—ah, ah, ah! (Aside.) I think the last time I left the room he kissed her! I could almost swear I heard the squeak of a little kiss. Oh, if I could be convinced! I’ll conceal my feelings till I’m quite satisfied—quite sure; and then——Betsey, dear, if that note you were writing just now is for any one in the city, I’ll leave it for you.
Mrs. P. No, no, thank you, it is not worth the trouble, and you wouldn’t be so mean as to defraud the revenue of a penny.
Pet. How they look at each other! I’ve a great mind to jump up and tell ’em both how they’ve deceived me. No, I won’t. I’ll set a trap for them—show ’em what they are: ah! a good thought—I have it.
Mrs. P. Selim, what’s the matter with you, this evening?
Pet. Nothing; I’ve been vexed,—city business. I think, as I have a moment to spare, I’ll drop a note to the wine merchant about the empty bottles (takes inkstand to a table): he ought to fetch ’em away, or I shall be charged for ’em. What horrid candles! (Snuffs one out.) Why did I go to the expense of a handsome lamp, when you will burn candles? (In trying to light it he purposely extinguishes the other; stage dark.)
Mrs. P. P., dear, how clumsy you are!
Pet. Sit still—I’ll get a light; Mary’s cooking—I’ll get a light. (He pours some ink on his pocket-handkerchief, and in passing Mrs. P., contrives to leave a large patch on her nose.)