THE SOUND OF A KISS.
A kiss is a difficult thing to describe on paper with only the unyielding, unimpressible materials of pen and ink; but it has been courageously attempted by a wag who had been at a wedding, “all of which he saw, and part of which he was.” Having “seen it done and performed, and heard the reverberation,” he describes a kiss as follows:
“This is the age of improvement, ladies and gentlemen; stand back and you will see a kiss on paper. Don’t be incredulous. I will give you the sound in types. Listen:
“When two pairs of affectionate lips are placed together to the intent of osculation, the noise educed is something like to the ensuing,
Epe-st’ weep’ st-e’ ee!
and then the sound tapers off so softly and so musically that no letters can do it justice.
“If any one thinks my description imperfect, let him surpass it if he can, even with a pen made from a quill out of Cupid’s wing.”
Another writer describes the acoustic phenomena of the process in the following stanzas:
Men’s fancies have long been sore tasked