Big Sister: A lady what’s had a husband and is goin’ to have another.
He: It’s perfectly awful the way you continue to flirt with your old sweethearts. I don’t believe you love me any more. And yet, before we were married, you told me I was a man of a thousand.
She: So you were, my dear, so you were. But I can’t entirely forget the other nine hundred and ninety-nine.
He: We have had a terrible scrap.
“And I came out ahead.”
“No. I did. You accepted my apology.”
WHEN GRANDPA THINKS OF HIS MOTHER