He waited for another, and for another. He walked back to his former point, and back again to that, and still, through the wearisome vision of his journey, looked for these approaching monsters. He loitered about the station, waiting until one should stay to call there; and when one did, and was detached for water, he stood parallel with it, watching its heavy wheels and brazen front, and thinking what a cruel power and might it had. Ugh! To see the great wheels slowly turning, and to think of being run down and crushed!
Disordered with wine and want of rest—that want which nothing, although he was so weary, would appease—these ideas and objects assumed a diseased importance in his thoughts. When he went back to his room, which was not until near midnight, they still haunted him, and he sat listening for the coming of another.
So in his bed, whither he repaired with no hope of sleep. He still lay listening; and when he felt the trembling and vibration, got up and went to the window, to watch (as he could from its position) the dull light changing to the two red eyes, and the fierce fire dropping glowing coals, and the rush of the giant as it fled past, and the track of glare and smoke along the valley. Then he would glance in the direction by which he intended to depart at sunrise, as there was no rest for him there; and would lie down again, to be troubled by the vision of his journey, and the old monotony of bells and wheels and horses’ feet, until another came. This lasted all night. So far from resuming the mastery of himself, he seemed, if possible, to lose it more and more, as the night crept on. When the dawn appeared, he was still tormented with thinking, still postponing thought until he should be in a better state; the past, present, and future all floated confusedly before him, and he had lost all power of looking steadily at any one of them.
“At what time,” he asked the man who had waited on him over-night, now entering with a candle, “do I leave here, did you say?”
“About a quarter after four, Sir. Express comes through at four, Sir.—It don’t stop.”
He passed his hand across his throbbing head, and looked at his watch. Nearly half-past three.
“Nobody going with you, Sir, probably,” observed the man. “Two gentlemen here, Sir, but they’re waiting for the train to London.”
“I thought you said there was nobody here,” said Carker, turning upon him with the ghost of his old smile, when he was angry or suspicious.
“Not then, sir. Two gentlemen came in the night by the short train that stops here, Sir. Warm water, Sir?”
“No; and take away the candle. There’s day enough for me.”