By way of enforcing this proclamation, Mr. Weller, using the watch after the manner of a president’s hammer, and remarking with great pride that nothing hurt it, and that falls and concussions of all kinds materially enhanced the excellence of the works and assisted the regulator, knocked the table a great many times, and declared the association formally constituted.
‘And don’t let’s have no grinnin’ at the cheer, Samivel,’ said Mr. Weller to his son, ‘or I shall be committin’ you to the cellar, and then p’r’aps we may get into what the ‘Merrikins call a fix, and the English a qvestion o’ privileges.’
Having uttered this friendly caution, the President settled himself in his chair with great dignity, and requested that Mr. Samuel would relate an anecdote.
‘I’ve told one,’ said Sam.
‘Wery good, sir; tell another,’ returned the chair.
‘We wos a talking jist now, sir,’ said Sam, turning to Slithers, ‘about barbers. Pursuing that ’ere fruitful theme, sir, I’ll tell you in a wery few words a romantic little story about another barber as p’r’aps you may never have heerd.’
‘Samivel!’ said Mr. Weller, again bringing his watch and the table into smart collision, ‘address your obserwations to the cheer, sir, and not to priwate indiwiduals!’
‘And if I might rise to order,’ said the barber in a soft voice, and looking round him with a conciliatory smile as he leant over the table, with the knuckles of his left hand resting upon it,—‘if I might rise to order, I would suggest that “barbers” is not exactly the kind of language which is agreeable and soothing to our feelings. You, sir, will correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe there is such a word in the dictionary as hairdressers.’
‘Well, but suppose he wasn’t a hairdresser,’ suggested Sam.