‘And now, gentlemen, a very extraordinary and remarkable occurrence took place; for as Tom sat in a melancholy way in one chair, and the Gifted sat in a melancholy way in another, a couple of doors were thrown violently open, the two young ladies rushed in, and one knelt down in a loving attitude at Tom’s feet, and the other at the Gifted’s. So far, perhaps, as Tom was concerned—as he used to say—you will say there was nothing strange in this: but you will be of a different opinion when you understand that Tom’s young lady was kneeling to the Gifted, and the Gifted’s young lady was kneeling to Tom.
‘“Halloa! stop a minute!” cries Tom; “here’s a mistake. I need condoling with by sympathising woman, under my afflicting circumstances; but we’re out in the figure. Change partners, Mooney.”
‘“Monster!” cries Tom’s young lady, clinging to the Gifted.
‘“Miss!” says Tom. “Is that your manners?”
‘“I abjure thee!” cries Tom’s young lady. “I renounce thee. I never will be thine. Thou,” she says to the Gifted, “art the object of my first and all-engrossing passion. Wrapt in thy sublime visions, thou hast not perceived my love; but, driven to despair, I now shake off the woman and avow it. Oh, cruel, cruel man!” With which reproach she laid her head upon the Gifted’s breast, and put her arms about him in the tenderest manner possible, gentlemen.
‘“And I,” says the other young lady, in a sort of ecstasy, that made Tom start—“I hereby abjure my chosen husband too. Hear me, Goblin!”—this was to the Gifted—“Hear me! I hold thee in the deepest detestation. The maddening interview of this one night has filled my soul with love—but not for thee. It is for thee, for thee, young man,” she cries to Tom. “As Monk Lewis finely observes, Thomas, Thomas, I am thine, Thomas, Thomas, thou art mine: thine for ever, mine for ever!” with which words, she became very tender likewise.
‘Tom and the Gifted, gentlemen, as you may believe, looked at each other in a very awkward manner, and with thoughts not at all complimentary to the two young ladies. As to the Gifted, I have heard Tom say often, that he was certain he was in a fit, and had it inwardly.
‘“Speak to me! Oh, speak to me!” cries Tom’s young lady to the Gifted.
‘“I don’t want to speak to anybody,” he says, finding his voice at last, and trying to push her away. “I think I had better go. I’m—I’m frightened,” he says, looking about as if he had lost something.
‘“Not one look of love!” she cries. “Hear me while I declare—”