“In about half an hour, Tom woke up, with a start, from a confused dream of tall men and tumblers of punch: and the first object that presented itself to his waking imagination was the queer chair.
“‘I won’t look at it any more,’ said Tom to himself, and he squeezed his eyelids together, and tried to persuade himself he was going to sleep again. No use; nothing but queer chairs danced before his eyes, kicking up their legs, jumping over each other’s backs, and playing all kinds of antics.
“‘I may as well see one real chair, as two or three complete sets of false ones,’ said Tom, bringing out his head from under the bed-clothes. There it was, plainly discernible by the light of the fire, looking as provoking as ever.
“Tom gazed at the chair; and, suddenly as he looked at it, a most extraordinary change seemed to come over it. The carving of the back gradually assumed the lineaments and expression of an old shrivelled human face; the damask cushion became an antique, flapped waistcoat; the round knobs grew into a couple of feet, encased in red cloth slippers; and the old chair looked like a very ugly old man, of the previous century, with his arms a-kimbo. Tom sat up in bed, and rubbed his eyes to dispel the illusion. No. The chair was an ugly old gentleman; and what was more, he was winking at Tom Smart.
“Tom was naturally a headlong, careless sort of dog, and he had had five tumblers of hot punch into the bargain; so, although he was a little startled at first, he began to grow rather indignant when he saw the old gentleman winking and leering at him with such an impudent air. At length he resolved that he wouldn’t stand it; and as the old face still kept winking away as fast as ever, Tom said, in a very angry tone:
“‘What the devil are you winking at me for?’
“‘Because I like it, Tom Smart,’ said the chair; or the old gentleman, whichever you like to call him. He stopped winking though, when Tom spoke, and began grinning like a superannuated monkey.
“‘How do you know my name, old nut-cracker face?’ inquired Tom Smart, rather staggered;—though he pretended to carry it off so well.
“‘Come, come, Tom,’ said the old gentleman, ‘that’s not the way to address solid Spanish Mahogany. Damme, you couldn’t treat me with less respect if I was veneered.’ When the old gentleman said this, he looked so fierce that Tom began to grow frightened.
“‘I didn’t mean to treat you with any disrespect, sir,’ said Tom; in a much humbler tone than he had spoken in at first.