Sekond hand cloes to make ee tidy,
Crox and Kittles, pans and all
And Godly bukes to save yer sole,
Man-Traps, gins, and pattens likewise
And on Saturday nights Hot Mutton Pies."
The signboard of one Roger Giles easily bears away the bell. It has been printed before now, but is too good, whether genuine or not, to be passed over:
ROGER GILES,
Surgin, Parish Clark and Sculemaster, Groser & Hundertaker
Respectably informs ladys and gentlemans that he drors teef without waiting a minit, applies laches every hour, blisters on the lowest tarms, and vizicks for a penny a peace. He sells Godsfathers kordales, kuts korns, bunyons docters hosses, clips donkies wance a munth, and undertakes to look after everybodys nayls by the ear. Joesharps, penny wissels, brass kanelsticks, fryin pans, and other moosical hinstruments hat greatly reydooced figers. Young ladies and gentlemen larnes their grammur, and langeudge in the purtiest mannar, also grate care taken off their morrels and spelling. Also zarm singing, tayching base vial, and all other sorts of fancy work, squadrils, pokers, weazels, and all country dances tort at home and abroad, at perfeksun. Perfumery and snuff in all its branches. As times is cruel bad I beg to tell ee that i has just beginned to sell all sorts of stashonery, ware, cox, hens, vouls, pigs, and all other kind of poultry, blackin-brishes, herrins, coles, scrubbin-brishes, traykel, and godley bukes and bibles, mise-traps, brick-dist, whisker seeds, morrel pokkerankechers, and all zorts of swatemaits including taters, sassages, and other garden stuff, bakky, zizars, lamp oyle, tay kittles, and other intoxzikating likkers, a dale of fruit, hats, zongs, hair oyle, pattins, bukkits grindin stones and other aitables, korne and bunyon zalve, and all hardware, I as laid in a large assortment of trype, dogs mate, lolipops, ginger beer, matches, and other pikkles, such as hepson salts, hoysters, Winsre sope, anzetrar—Old rags bort and sold here and nowhere else, new laid eggs by me Roger Giles; zinging burdes keeped, such as howles, donkies, paykox, lobsters, crickets, also a stock of celebrated brayder.
P.S.—I tayches geography, ritmitmetic, cowsticks, jimnastics, and other chynees tricks.