If I am inclined to be vicious I have some little excuse, with women yelling for dhoora, under the Palace windows! Church parade to-day, and the approach nearer to us of the Mahdi’s camp, and his sending for and getting 120 camel loads of ammunition, does not show he is wanting in confidence, for if he did fear, he would never have sent for 500,000 rounds of ammunition; or if he had sent for it, he would have stopped its coming, had he feared the advance. The fact is that the Tokar affair, with the non-following up of the victory,[204] has given him great confidence, which is strengthened by his Arabs capturing dhows and firing on the lines of Suakin with impunity. Perhaps the non-firing on Suakin for three days (August 30) means that the Hadendowa Arabs have gone to assist Berber! I wonder whether it has not been observed, that Suakin is perfectly useless if the Soudan is in the hands of the Mahdi. I declare I think he (the Mahdi) has a fair chance of getting to Mecca, if the rebellion in the Hedjaz goes on, and he gets Kartoum.
The Mahdi may, and I daresay has good information from Cairo, as to the intention of the expedition, or he may reason, “They will relieve Kartoum, leave me alone in my camp, and go back.” If the Government instructions are definite, and going to be carried out at any cost, and if they are to the effect that a Rapid Retreat is to take place, then nothing more is to be said. All I ask for then, is to be put out of my place here,[205] to go on my way, and be no more employed. That is not an unreasonable demand, for my mission here was a special one, and not obligatory, like a military duty, and in my position of Governor-General I am quite justified in having said and done everything for the people over whom I was placed by Towfik (following the “fiction” that he was independent) that I thought would secure them safety. If it is determined to abandon Sennaar and Kassala (following the fiction that the King of Abyssinia will look after them), also the Equator, to their fate, after their gallant defence, there is nothing more to be said, and the sooner this action is performed the better, if it is to be performed at all. To execute the operation, if it is confined to the evacuation of Kartoum, I can be of no possible use, and I do not care to wait and see the Mahdi walk in on your heels into Kartoum, which we have held against him for so many months; neither do I wish to see Her Majesty’s forces dogged by these Arabs all the way to Wady Halfa, or to receive the remonstrances of those who have stuck to me. I am sure I have now written so fully on all these subjects that there can be little room for further discussion: you have to make up your mind and act. I have fully expressed my views and desires, and shall take, or try to take, very philosophically your decision; though I do most emphatically protest against this abandonment, which will lead to greater disasters, and is unworthy of our country.
The men who came in to-day say the Mahdi will attack Omdurman to-morrow. The following decisions have to be taken if the rapid retreat is carried out:—
1. Are the Government stores to be destroyed?
2. Are you prepared to supply transport for all who wish to go down?
3. Will you disarm the Shaggyeh ere you leave?
4. What will you do with the steamers?
I declare I should tremble to give these orders. As Governor-General I never would do it.
5. Will you write to Sennaar and Kassala, and inform them of what you mean to do, and exonerate me?
(A slave came in from the Arabs. He says the Arabs will not attack the lines; that the regulars are all over with the Mahdi on the left bank.)