My idea is to induce Her Majesty’s Government to undertake the extrication of all people or garrisons, now hemmed in or captive, and that if this is not their programme, then to resign my commission and do what I can to attain it (the object). As long as a man remains in Her Majesty’s Service he is bound to obey the orders of his superiors, but if he resigns he cannot be held as insubordinate if he disobeys. Of course it may turn on the question of whether once having entered the service of Her Majesty’s Army, one is free to leave it at one’s will. But we officers are not like the private soldiers engaged for a term of years, and perhaps one may risk dismissal if the cause is worthy of it—which, I think, the question of abandoning the garrisons is.
I say this, because I should be sorry for Lord Wolseley to advance from Dongola without fully knowing my views. If Her Majesty’s Government are going to abandon the garrisons, then do not advance. I say nothing of evacuating the country, I merely maintain that if we do so, every one in the Soudan, captive or hemmed in, ought to have the option and power of retreat. Having given them that option and power, I have nothing more to say, and I would not care whether the country is evacuated or not.
It is a miserable country, but it is joined to Egypt, and to my idea it would be difficult to divorce the two.
I will end these egotistical remarks by saying that no persuasion will induce me to change my views; and that as to force, it is out of the question, for I have the people with me—at any rate of the towns which hold out. Therefore, if Her Majesty’s forces are not prepared to relieve the whole of the garrisons, the General should consider whether it is worth coming up—in his place, if not so prepared,[92] I would not do so. I do not dictate, but I say what every gentleman[93] in Her Majesty’s Army would agree to—that it would be mean (coûte que coûte) to leave men who (though they may not come up to our ideas as heroes) have stuck to me, though a Christian dog in their eyes, through great difficulties, and thus force them to surrender to those who have not conquered them, and to do that at the bidding of a foreign Power, to save one’s own skin. Why the black sluts would stone me if they thought I meditated such action. Stewart knows all this and used to groan over perversity.
September 30. The Arabs fired seven shells last night at 9 p.m. which fell inside the lines, but did no harm. To-day being Bairam, they fired four rounds in their camp—a salute I suppose.
The spy who came in yesterday, says the report is rife that Seyd Mahomet Osman’s men have entered Katarif.
The three steamers will leave here to-day for Shendy at 4 p.m.
I shoved off the Bairam reception upon Ferratch Pasha, who held it upon the lines. I am not up to these affairs, and I think he likes them.
As soon as ever I hear of the arrival of troops at Berber, down will go the Greeks, Bashi Bazouks, and Fellaheen soldiers with a month’s provisions. The people of Berber then can send them on, as best they can—they will be off my hands. I have everything ready to send them. We have no telegraph wire left up here to repair the lines, so Floyer had better see to it; all ours has been used in the wire entanglements.
The troops on board the steamers are Fellaheen soldiers. If Berber is captured, better take them out and keep them (they are part of their way to their homes), and replace them with such black troops as may be released at Berber; but see after these white soldiers’ pay, and rations, and do not neglect them.