Those Shaggyeh! I will back them to try a man’s patience more sorely than any other people in the whole world, yea, and in the Universe. It is no use detailing their efforts. I have now sent Moussa Bey down to Halfeyeh. I really believe that they did try the patience of the Arabs, from all I hear; for the Arabs frequently thought of putting them to the sword, and I can quite imagine Arabs having this thought, from the wear and tear they have given me.
Of course, the officer on the lines reports masses of Arabs killed to-day.
Sheikh el Obeyed killed all the prisoners he took (who were inhabitants of Kartoum) in Mahomet Ali’s defeat, near El foun. I have ordered the sale of 200 ardebs of grain, no one to buy more than ¼ ardeb.
Stewart will be annoyed at hearing “Ibrahim Ruckdi is very ill!!!!” Illness dates from hour of being turned out of head clerk’s place; he has not sent for the doctor.
It will be a satisfaction for some to know that, owing to their not sending me any news, I am exposed to hearing all sorts of disquieting rumours from the town, which, though I do not mind them, are not destined to make one’s life lighter. The Ulemas have been coming here for two days to see me; they have been bothering for more grain, and so I put off seeing them, but I gave them one ardeb a piece. To-day, however, they pushed an interview, but I still held out, and said they must tell my Vakeel what they had to say. After a deal of palaver my Vakeel came in to say, “that the whole of the town requested I would take back Ibrahim Ruckdi.” What an idea! I said “The town had better mind their own business, and leave me to mind mine.” I think it is lovely! and how Ruckdi must have worked at it during his severe illness. Ruckdi had got at my servants. Edrees, the butler, told me, with a look of deepest commiseration, how ill Ruckdi was, on which I laughed. I guessed he was on the sick list, and had asked. “Yes” (with a deep sigh), “Ruckdi was very ill.” “Illness commenced when?” I asked. “Oh, a long time back, but duty and fidelity to me had enabled him to crawl through his work,” at which I laughed again. Then came the Ulemas, with the town petition. I can quite imagine when men have bribed the chief clerk A. to be favourable, that it is a bother to have to go through the same process with chief clerk B. on A.’s being turned out; it upsets all calculations. Ruckdi will return to Cairo with Tongi.
“See-saw,[115] see-saw, why it is enough to kill a fellow. I can’t keep my eyes open. I would give a shilling to have an hour’s sleep! Yes, of course, you say it is close at hand, you black devil!” “I know your Kareb means at least three hours more.” “Give you the water-bottle? I can’t. I don’t dare to touch the rope of this long-necked brute. Hullo: there is some one come a cropper. Rifle, ‘broken,’ of course, it is, you cannot fall from a precipice without its being broken.” “Hi! stop! Catch hold of the brute; the machufat, as you call it, is slipping round. Can’t you stop the brute (noise of a body falling); well, there is an end of it. I will walk now sooner than embark again on the ship of the desert. Am I hurt? Oh, no, of course not; rather enjoyed sensation. Walks half a mile, boots full of sand, and tries it again.”—Scene in Desert: Explorations in Central Africa, by Her Majesty’s Army.
The machufats[116] will slip forward, and camels will object to people riding on their long necks; they will drop vesuvians on camels, who will not like it; they will get galled, and have not glycerine; they will drop their pipes, and not dare to descend for them; they will pass baggage-camel with sharp edged boxes, which will rasp their legs; as they mount they will go over the other side and swear—oh how they will swear! all their Topies will be crushed—aches and pains in every part of the body (I should be inclined to put them on ambulance saddles, one on each side: awkward if they meet a baggage caravan). “Tired and ill! of course I am tired and ill after bowing and swaying my body to and fro all night, with my eyes pricking like as from so many needles, from desire to sleep; and you may say what you like, I swear I saw more than one of those skeleton camels get up, and I saw houses as plain as I see you.[117] I was between Scylla and Charybdis. I wanted to sleep, and I was afraid of falling off—shall never forget it.”
“Chermside to Kitchener: Any news of him?”
“Kitchener to Chermside: Nothing particular; two or three more men down. Steamers at Metemma. Abuse as usual of Intelligence Department. Mahdi doing much better: he finds it more difficult to get his letters through, and will have time to get over his liver complaint and injustices. Stewart says it was a perfect pandemonium to be boxed up with him when in his tantrums. I hope you are well. Let me know if I can do anything for you.”
I think, in the interests of the Telegraph Department, Floyer ought to make officers pay for telegrams like this intercepted one.