Husbands and wives
Wives are to be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. Just as the divine fatherhood is the ground of all lower fatherhood, so the authority of the one great Head is the ground in all lower headships, and each in its place is to be accepted as the shadow of His. Thus the husband's headship over his wife is the shadow of Christ's headship over the church, and that explains of what sort the husband's authority should be. For Christ's rule is a rule for the advantage of the ruled. He rules the church as Himself its saviour or deliverer from bondage, and the word 'saviour' is full of associations of self-sacrificing love. So must it be with a Christian husband. But Christ is not merely a head to the church. He too is a husband. This idea of God as the husband of His people—an idea which expressed both His choice of them, His love for them, and His jealous claim upon them—is familiar in the Old Testament. 'Thy Maker is thy husband.' 'I am a husband unto you, saith the Lord[[1]].' And it is probable, as Dr. Cheyne suggests, 'that the so-called Song of Solomon was admitted into the canon on the ground that the bride of the poem symbolized the chosen people[[2]].' But in a Christian sense the idea gains a fresh meaning. 'We that are joined unto the Lord are of one spirit' with Him[[3]]. We are the 'members of his body'; and, as drawing our life from His manhood, we may be even said to be, like Eve from Adam, 'of his flesh and of his bones[[4]].' Christ then is, in this richness of meaning, the husband of the church.
St. Paul seems further to describe this relation of Christ to the church under the figure of three marriage customs. The husband first acquires the object of his affection as his bride by a dowry: then by a bath of purification the bride is prepared for the husband: finally she is presented to him in bridal beauty. Accordingly Christ, because He loved the church, first 'gave himself for her'; and we may interpret this phrase in the light of another used by St. Paul in his speech to the Ephesian elders, where the church is spoken of as 'purchased' or 'acquired[[5]]' by Christ's blood. Having thus acquired the Church for His bride, He secondly 'cleansed her in the laver[[6]] of water with the word': and that, in order that He might 'sanctify her' and so finally 'present the church to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.'
This threefold statement has great theological interest which we will consider shortly. Here we will simply let it stand, as St. Paul uses it, to exhibit Christ as the ideal husband, the pattern for every husband. Love for his bride; self-sacrifice in order to win her; and the deliberate aiming at moral perfection for her through the bridal union—that is the law for him. The wife, according to the original divine principle, is to be part of the man's self—one flesh with him. He must love her truly and care for her as his own flesh. This 'mystery,' or divine secret revealed, is great, St. Paul says; 'but in saying this I am thinking of Christ and his church.' This seems to be the exact force of verse 32. In other words—this divine disclosure of the relation of God to man, as realized in the marriage of Christ and His church, is indeed great and lofty. But, St. Paul continues in effect, great and lofty as it is, it is a practical pattern for us. Do ye also, as Christ the church, severally love each one his own wife even as himself, and let the wife see that she fear (i.e. reverence and fear to displease) her husband, even as the church stands in holy awe of Christ.
Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, being himself the saviour of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it; that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his own wife loveth himself: for no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as Christ also the church; because we are members of his body. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the twain shall become one flesh. This mystery is great: but I speak in regard of Christ and of the church. Nevertheless do ye also severally love each one his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she fear her husband.
There are several points here which need consideration.
1. There is a rich theology in St. Paul's brief description of the relation of Christ to the church. First, there is Christ's love for the church which involves a purpose of entire sanctification for her; then there is sacrifice, the sacrifice of Himself, for her; then there is the baptismal purification of the church to fit her for Christ, which is in fact nothing else than the baptismal purification of all the individual members of the Christian body; and this is also, as St. Paul elsewhere teaches, the means to them of new life by union with Himself. It is their cleansing bath because therein they are 'baptized into Christ.' (Here, we notice, the analogy of the marriage custom breaks down: what is in the marriage ceremonies only a washing preparatory to union, is in the spiritual counterpart also the act of union. Baptism is both the abandonment of the old and union with the new.) Lastly, there is the final presentation by Christ of the church to Himself in sinless, stainless perfection.
We observe that Christ's sacrifice is regarded by St. Paul as preparatory and relative. He bought the church by the sacrifice of Himself to obtain unimpeded rights over her, because He loved her and in order to make her morally perfect. The atonement has its value because it is the removal of the obstacles to Christ working His positive moral work in her.
We observe again that the sacrifice of Christ is spoken of as offered for the church, not for the world. Christ does indeed 'will that all men shall be saved': He did indeed 'take away,' or take up and expiate, 'the sin of the world' in its totality[[7]]. But the divine method is that men shall attain their salvation as 'members of Christ's body.' Thus, if Christ's ultimate object in the divine sacrifice is the world: His immediate object is the church through which He acts upon the world and into which He calls every man. 'I pray,' He said, 'not for the world, but for them whom thou hast given me.' 'He gave himself for us that he might redeem us ... and purify unto himself a people for his own possession[[8]].'