CONTENTS.

CHAPTER I.
PAGE
The founder of New Castle—A search for quietness—Life inthe city and in the village—Why the latter is preferable—Peculiaritiesof the village—A sleepy old town—We erect ourfamily altar[25]
CHAPTER II.
A very dangerous invention—The patent combination step-ladder—Domesticservants—Advertising for a girl—Thepeasant-girl of fact and fiction—A contrast[36]
CHAPTER III.
The view upon the river—A magnificent panorama—Mr. andMrs. Cooley—Matrimonial infelicities—The case of Mrs.Sawyer—A blighted life—A present—Our century plant andits peculiarities [47]
CHAPTER IV.
Judge Pitman—His experiment in the barn—A lesson in naturalhistory—Catching the early train—One of the miseriesof living in the village—Ball's lung exercise—Mr. Cooley'simpertinence [56]
CHAPTER V.
A little love affair—Cowardice of Mr. Parker—Popular interestin amatory matters—The Magruder family—An event in itshistory—Remarkable experiments by Mrs. Magruder—An indignanthusband—A question answered [68]
CHAPTER VI.
The editor of our daily paper—The appearance and personalcharacteristics of Colonel Bangs—The affair with the tombstone—Artnews—Colonel Bangs in the heat of a politicalcampaign—Peculiar troubles of public singers—The phenomenaof menageries—Extraordinary sagacity of the animals—TheWild Man of Afghanistan [84]
CHAPTER VII.
The Battery and its peculiarities—A lovely scene—Swede andDutchman two hundred years ago—Old names of the river—Indiannames generally—Cooley's boy—His adventure inchurch—The long and the short of it—Mr. Cooley's dog andour troubles with it[99]
CHAPTER VIII.
The Morning Argus creates a sensation—A new editor—Mr.Slimmer the poet—An obituary department—Mr. Slimmeron death—Extraordinary scene in the sanctum of ColonelBangs—Indignant advertisers—The colonel violently assaulted—Observationsof the poet—The final catastrophe—Mysteriousconduct of Bob Parker—The accident on Magruder'sporch—Mrs. Adeler on the subject of obituary poetryin general [113]
CHAPTER IX.
The reason why I purchased a horse—A peculiar characteristic—Drivingby the river—Our horse as a persecutor—He becomesa genuine nightmare—Experimenting with his tail—How ourhorse died—In relation to pirates—Mrs. Jones's bold corsair—Alamentable tale[134]
CHAPTER X.
A picturesque church—Some reflections upon church music—BobParker in the choir—Our undertaker—A gloomy man—Ourexperience with the hot-air furnaces—A series of accidents—Mr.Collamer's vocalism—An extraordinary mistake[152]
CHAPTER XI.
A fishing excursion down the river—Difficulties of the voyage—Aseries of unfortunate incidents—Our return home, and howwe were received—A letter upon the general subject of angling—Thesorrows of the fishermen—Lieutenant Smiley—Hisrecollections of Rev. Mr. Blodgett—A very remarkable missionary[164]
CHAPTER XII.
How the plumber fixed my boiler—A vexatious business—Howhe didn't come to time, and what the ultimate result was—Anaccident; and the pathetic story of young Chubb—Reminiscencesof General Chubb—The eccentricities of an absent-mindedman—The rivals—Parker versus Smiley[183]
CHAPTER XIII.
An evil day—Flogging-time in New Castle—How the punishmentis inflicted—A few remarks upon the general merits ofthe system—A singular judge—How George WashingtonBusby was sentenced—Emotions of the prisoner—A cruel infliction,and a code that ought to be reformed[200]
CHAPTER XIV.
A Delaware legend—A story of the old time—The Christmasplay—A cruel accusation—The flight in the darkness alongthe river shore—The trial and the condemnation—St. Pillory'sday seventy years ago—Flogging a woman—The deliverance[211]
CHAPTER XV.
A very disagreeable predicament—Wild exultation of Parker—Hemakes an important announcement—An interview withthe old man—The embarrassment of Mr. Sparks, and how heovercame it—A story of Bishop Potts—The miseries of toomuch consolidation—How Potts suffered, and what his endwas [237]
CHAPTER XVI.
Old Fort Kasimir—Two centuries ago—The goblins of the lane—Anoutrage upon Pitman's cow—The judge discusses thesubject of bitters—How Cooley came home—Turning off thegas—A frightful accident in the Argus office—The terriblefate of Archibald Watson—How Mr. Bergner taught Sunday-school[255]
CHAPTER XVII.
A dismal sort of day—A few able remarks about umbrellas—Theumbrella in a humorous aspect—The calamity that befellColonel Coombs—An ambitious but miserable monarch—Theinfluence of umbrellas on the weather—An improved weathersystem—A little nonsense—Judge Pitman's views of weatherof various kinds [278]
CHAPTER XVIII.
Trouble for the hero and heroine—A broken engagement anda forlorn damsel—Bob Parker's suffering—A formidable encounter—Thepeculiar conduct of a dumb animal—Cooley'sboy and his home discipline—A story of an echo[293]
CHAPTER XIX.
A certificate concerning Pitman's hair—Unendurable persecution—Awarning to men with bald-headed friends—An explanation—Theslanderer discovered—Benjamin P. Gunn—Amodel life-insurance agent[306]
CHAPTER XX.
A certain remarkable book—A few suggestions respecting Boston—Delusionsof childhood—Bullying General Gage—JudgePitman and the catechism—An extraordinary blunder—Thefacts in the case of Hillegass—A false alarm[324]
CHAPTER XXI.
Settling the business—Vindication of Mr. Bob Parker—A completereconciliation—The great Cooley inquest—The uncertaintyin regard to Thomas Cooley—A phenomenal coroner—Thesolution of the mystery[334]
CHAPTER XXII.
An arrival—A present from a Congressman—Meditation uponhis purpose—The patent-office report of the future—A planfor revolutionizing public documents and opening a new departmentin literature—Our trip to Salem—A tragical event—Thelast of Lieutenant Smiley[350]
CHAPTER XXIII.
Pitman as a politician—He is nominated for the Legislature—Howhe was serenaded, and what the result was—I take ahand at politics—The story of my first political speech—yreception at Dover—Misery of a man with only one speech—Thescene at the mass meeting—A frightful discomfiture[363]
CHAPTER XXIV.
The wedding-day—Enormous excitement in the village—Preparationsfor the event—The conduct of Bob Parker—Theceremony at the church, and the company at Magruder's—Alast look at some old friends—Departure of the bride andgroom—Some uncommonly solemn reflections, and then—Theend[387]

List of Illustrations

No.Page
1.—Book Cover.[Frontispiece.]
2.—Title Page[1]
3.—The Founder of the Village (Initial Letter)[25]
4.—A Professor of Music[26]
5.—A Disgusted Agriculturist[28]
6.—New Castle from the River (Full Page)[32]
7.—The Real Peasant-Girl (Initial Letter)[36]
8.—A Dangerous Invention[37]
9.—The Early Morning Fire[39]
10.—The Ideal Peasant-Girl[42]
11.—Unsymmetrical Cold Beef[43]
12.—The View down the River (Full Page)[46]
13.—A Family Jar (Initial Letter)[47]
14.—A Musical Navigator[48]
15.—The Nocturnal Dog[49]
16.—Mr. Sawyer's Nose[52]
17.—The Man with the Century Plant[53]
18.—A Lively Vegetable[54]
19.—Judge Pitman's Bag (Initial Letter)[56]
20.—The Judge introduces Himself [57]
21.—Pitman's Musical Experiment [59]
22.—That Infamous Egg[60]
23.—The Dog by the Wayside[61]
24.—Catching the Train [61]
25.—Hauled In[62]
26.—An Altercation with Cooley[64]
27.—My Lung Exercise[66]
28.—A Female Professor (Initial Letter)[68]
29.—The Lamp Turned Low[68]
30.—Studying Up[69]
31.—Parker Relating his Woes[69]
32.—Magruder's Wooing[72]
33.—A Queer Feeling in his Head [72]
34.—Magruder Tells his Brother[73]
35.—The Class Going Up[74]
36.—A Secreted Observer[74]
37.—A General Attack on the Subject (Full Page)[78]
38.—Peeping Through the Crack[79]
39.—A Furious Husband[80]
40.—An Asinine Being (Initial Letter)[84]
41.—The Colonel's Bravery[85]
42.—An Interview with Cooley[86]
43.—That Tombstone[87]
44.—Mr. Mullins Explains[88]
45.—Exit Murphy[89]
46.—A Late Call[91]
47.—A Captive Maiden[91]
48.—Excavating Her[92]
49.—Her Feet[92]
50.—That Antiquarian[92]
51.—The Raging Rhinoceros[94]
52.—The King of Beasts[94]
53.—The Rival Lovers[96]
54.—On the Settee[96]
55.—She Sat on Him[97]
56.—Too Thin[97]
57.—The Wild Man[98]
58.—The Fat Woman[98]
59.—The Boy of the Period (Initial Letter)[99]
60.—The Battery (Full Page)[102]
61.—An Ancient Warrior[103]
62.—A Raid on the Melon-Patch[105]
63.—Communing with Jones's Boy[106]
64.—Held Fast[107]
65.—The Solemnity of Jones[107]
66.—Taking him Out[108]
67.—Not Matched[109]
68.—Dosing a Cur[110]
69.—Over the Fence and Back Again[110]
70.—Much too Faithful[111]
71.—Cruelty to an Animal[112]
72.—Removing a Mouthful[112]
73.—A Patron of the "Argus" (Initial Letter)[113]
74.—The Poet[114]
75.—The Editor Explaining his Views[115]
76.—The Throes of Composition[116]
77.—A Row of Readers[117]
78.—Taking a Peep[117]
79.—The Scene in the Sanctum[118]
80.—That Monkey[119]
81.—Mrs. Smith's Woe[120]
82.—Bartholomew's Indignant Father[122]
83.—Mr. Mcfadden[124]
84.—The Editor meets the Poet[126]
85.—The Colonel in a Tight Place[127]
86.—Going up Stairs[128]
87.—In Highland Costume[130]
88.—Why Bob Stayed[130]
89.—Sawing him Out[131]
90.—Mrs. Adeler's Views[132]
91.—Bob's Trousers[133]
92.—The New Mazeppa (Initial Letter)[134]
93.—Cooley at an Auction[135]
94.—Our Urbane Horse[136]
95.—Trying to Catch Up[138]
96.—Kicking[139]
97.—A Nightmare[140]
98.—Haunted[141]
99.—An Artificial Tail[142]
100.—A Demoralized Horse[142]
101.—It Came Off![143]
102.—The Melodramatic Freebooter[144]
103.—Mrs. Jones's Pirate[145]
104.—Sweeping the Horizon[146]
105.—The Weekly Wash[146]
106.—Hailing the "Mary Jane"[147]
107.—A General Massacre[147]
108.—The Paternal Jones[148]
109.—She Puts on her Things[148]
110.—Slaying the Captain[149]
111.—"False! False!"[150]
112.—More Butchery[150]
113.—Suicide of the Widow[150]
114.—The Wreck of Mrs. Jones[151]
115.—A Chorister (Initial Letter)[152]
116.—The Spire[153]
117.—Sinful Games[154]
118.—The Old Church (Full Page)[156]
119.—A Chinese Prayer[157]
120.—The Minister and I[157]
121.—In the Pipe[158]
122.—Bob in the Choir[158]
123.—The Undertaker's Sign[159]
124.—A Gloomy Man[160]
125.—Very Warm Work[161]
126.—Collamer Falls In[161]
127.—The Clergyman[162]
128.—Collamer Sings[162]
129.—He Asks a Question[163]
130.—A Ribald Boy[163]
131.—A Fisherman (Initial Letter)[164]
132.—Bringing 'em Home[164]
133.—Pushing Off[165]
134.—We Change Places[165]
135.—Cooling Off[166]
136.—Waiting for Bites[166]
137.—Anchor Gone[166]
138.—Fixing an Oar[167]
139.—Lost Him[167]
140.—Saved[167]
141.—A Tangle[168]
142.—The Man who Owned the Boat[168]
143.—A Successor of Izaak Walton[169]
144.—A Disheartened Digger[170]
145.—Tears[171]
146.—Watching the Cork[171]
147.—A Naked Hook[171]
148.—The Last Match[172]
149.—Caught on a Limb[173]
150.—A Playful Eel[174]
151.—Wriggling[174]
152.—Pulling In[175]
153.—That Infamous Boy[175]
154.—A South Sea Islander[177]
155.—Mr. Blodgett, Missionary[177]
156.—Going to the Picnic[177]
157.—The Vestry Meeting[178]
158.—Putting them to Sleep[178]
159.—The Funeral Service[179]
160.—The Remaining Warden[179]
161.—Going Home[180]
162.—He Paddled his own Canoe[180]
163.—Smashing poor Mott[181]
164.—A Fijian[182]
165.—Our Plumber (Initial Letter)[183]
166.—He Examines the Range[184]
167.—I Meet Him[184]
168.—How he Goes to Wilmington[184]
169.—An Indignant Artisan[185]
170.—On the Asparagus Bed[185]
171.—The Condition of my Grass-plot[186]
172.—At the Front Gate[186]
173.—A View of the Ruins[187]
174.—Watching[188]
175.—One of the Robbers[188]
176.—Mr. Nippers Enters[188]
177.—I Expostulate with Nippers[189]
178.—Mrs. Cooley's Servant[190]
179.—She Shakes Henry[190]
180.—Bob as an Author[191]
181.—Young Chubb[191]
182.—Mysterious Music[192]
183.—"What does this Mean?"[193]
184.—Trying to Make him Disgorge[193]
185.—HEnry's Brother tries Pressure[194]
186.—Exit with the Sexton[194]
187.—The Tomb of Chubb[195]
188.—General Chubb's Legs[196]
189.—The Influence of Art[197]
190.—The General Dives In[197]
191.—Through the Canvas[197]
192.—Pilloried (Initial Letter)[200]
193.—Infant Spectators[201]
194.—The Whipping-post[201]
195.—An Ancient Custom[202]
196.—That Remarkable Judge[204]
197.—George Washington Busby[205]
198.—The Jury[205]
199.—Maternal Love[206]
200.—Manhood's Toil[206]
201.—Busby Whispers to the Tipstaff[207]
202.—More Hopeful Still[207]
203.—His Infant Steps[208]
204.—Busby's Heart grows Lighter[209]
205.—The Thunderbolt Falls[209]
206.—Leading him Out[210]
207.—Wielding the Lash (Initial Letter)[211]
208.—Hob-nobbing[212]
209.—The Major in a Sulk[213]
210.—The Lovers[215]
211.—"Where did You get That?"[217]
212.—The Flight by the River[219]
213.—Dick Confesses[226]
214.—Wearing the Wooden Collar[228]
215.—A Flogging Seventy Years Ago (Full Page)[230]
216.—Pardoned[233]
217.—A Broken Man[235]
218.—The Market Green and the Old Church[236]
219.—A Juvenile Musician (Initial Letter)[237]
220.—Caught[238]
221.—Can't Reach It[238]
222.—Creeping Out[239]
223.—Back Again in a Hurry[239]
224.—A Mighty Ugly Situation[240]
225.—Listening[240]
226.—Parker Exults[241]
227.—The Second Hornpipe[241]
228.—He Surveys her Dwelling[241]
229.—Old Sparks's Sacred Dust[244]
230.—A Conscientious Tombstone[244]
231.—Bishop Potts[246]
232.—A Warm Welcome[246]
233.—A Surprise for the Bishop[247]
234.—The Bride goes Home in a Row[248]
235.—Potts Meditates[249]
236.—Waving Farewell[249]
237.—The Bishop is Confounded[250]
238.—Starting the Third Time[252]
239.—Potts Becomes Hysterical[253]
240.—The Peruvian Monk[253]
241.—The Maniac Doctor[253]
242.—Bob gives an Opinion[254]
243.—Potts's Child[254]
244.—On the Ramparts (Initial Letter)[255]
245.—The Site of Fort Kasimir (Full Page)[258]
246.—Modern Warriors[259]
247.—A Dutch Goblin[260]
248.—Pitman tells of his Griefs[260]
249.—A Troublesome Cow[261]
250.—That Scandalous Blind-board[261]
251.—The Temperance Society makes an Inspection[262]
252.—"I'll Knock the Stuffin' out o' him"[262]
253.—The Judge's Bitters Advertisements[263]
254.—He Takes a Tonic[263]
255.—Another Dozen[264]
256.—Cooley's Illuminated Nose[265]
257.—"Out, Brief Candle"[266]
258.—"There was Mrs. Cooley a-Watchin'"[266]
259.—Dr. Hopkins is Amazed[267]
260.—Appalling Intelligence[268]
261.—The Commodore's Tomb[269]
262.—The Fall of Simms[270]
263.—"Knock 'em with a Pole"[270]
264.—Hit by an Apple[271]
265.—Tim Keyser's Nose[272]
266.—"He Slid Around so Quick"[272]
267.—"He Cut an Opening in the Ice"[273]
268.—The Pickerel Bites[273]
269.—"The Better of the Fight"[274]
270.—"And Pulled Tim Keyser Through"[274]
271.—Under Water[275]
272.—An Awful Sneeze[275]
273.—He Floats Ashore[276]
274.—"He Very Roundly Swore"[276]
275.—At Dinner[277]
276.—A Very Wet Time (Initial Letter)[278]
277.—A Damp Fisherman[279]
278.—Forlorn[279]
279.—The Comic Umbrella[280]
280.—Delicate Warriors[281]
281.—The Experiment of Coombs[281]
282.—An Embarrassed Panther[282]
283.—Bringing Home the Monster[282]
284.—Getting Ready for Action[283]
285.—The Medicine Man Dies[283]
286.—Cooley Awaits the Simoom[286]
287.—The Judge Enjoys the Weather[290]
288.—Perfectly Satisfied[291]
289.—The Genuine Weather-Gauge[292]
290.—"A Friend of Man" (Initial Letter)[293]
291.—The Impetuosity of Bob[296]
292.—A Somnambulist[297]
293.—A Precautionary Measure[297]
294.—Dreaming of Magruder[297]
295.—Under the Bed[298]
296.—Bob is Amazed[298]
297.—Hunting for Henry[298]
298.—The Mystery Unraveled[299]
299.—"Perfectly Still"[300]
300.—The Consequences of a Sneeze[301]
301.—The Dog Leaves[301]
302.—I Suddenly Climb the Fence[301]
303.—Sold[302]
304.—"Commere To Me"[302]
305.—A Victim[303]
306.—A Human Echo[304]
307.—It Won't Answer[304]
308.—After That Boy[305]
309.—A Bald-headed Party (Initial Letter)[306]
310.—A Deluge of Letters[308]
311.—Mrs. Singerly's Poodle[309]
312.—The Rally of the Baldheaded[309]
313.—A Microscopic Examination[310]
314.—Benjamin P. Gunn[313]
315.—A Visit to Mrs. Kemper[315]
316.—Gunn Waits with the Doctor[317]
317.—Pounding on the Partition[317]
318.—Up the Steeple[318]
319.—Into the Crater[318]
320.—Benjamin is Ejected[319]
321.—Portrait of Gunn[319]
322.—On the War Path[323]
323.—General Gage and the Boy (Initial Letter)[324]
324.—The Judge is Puzzled[329]
325.—Catechizing Him[329]
326.—The Doctors at Hillegass's House[330]
327.—Hillegass Recovers[331]
328.—The Joke on the Chief[332]
329.—A Deluge[332]
330.—The Combat on the Stairs[333]
331.—A Fireman[333]
332.—The Bone Controversy (Initial Letter)[334]
333.—Examining the Premises[335]
334.—We Proceed Carefully[336]
335.—An Explosion at Cooley's[339]
336.—The Remains Scatter[340]
337.—"Fooling with a Gun"[341]
338.—Selfridge Argues with Smith[342]
339.—The Rival Juries[343]
340.—Cooley Turns Up[344]
341.—"Tossed the Little Baby"[348]
342.—That Mummy[349]
343.—A Patent-Office Report (Initial Letter)[350]
344.—Pub. Docs[351]
345.—Alphonso Lies in Wait[353]
346.—Lucullus, the Serenader[353]
347.—Death of Alphonso[354]
348.—Lucullus Breaks Jail[354]
349.—Smith Bombards the Artists[355]
350.—The Lovers Float Ashore[356]
351.—A Parting Scene[357]
352.—Smiley is Intoxicated[358]
353.—"He Leaped into the Sea"[360]
354.—Bob is Rescued[361]
355.—Nursing the Invalid[362]
356.—Tail-piece[362]
357.—Before the Mass Meeting (Initial Letter)[363]
358.—The Serenaders at Pitman's[365]
359.—Cooley Argues with Daniel Webster[366]
360.—The Discomfited Drummer[367]
361.—The Kickapoo's Mistake[369]
362.—A Patriotic Dutchman[370]
363.—Collapsed[370]
364.—Commodore Scudder's Dog[371]
365.—The Committee Welcomes Me[373]
366.—The Cold-eyed Drummer[375]
367.—"Go, Mark him Well"[376]
368.—Mr. Hotchkiss's Joke[379]
369.—The Drummer Glares at Me[381]
370.—I Retreat in Despair[386]
371.—A Solemn Vow[386]
372.—The Waiter (Initial Letter)[387]
373.—The Collars in his Trunk[389]
374.—A Shirt-button Lost[390]
375.—Waiting for the Bride[390]
376.—At the Reception[392]
377.—Pitman Expresses his Views[394]
378.—"We Flung a Shoe after Them"[394]
379.—The Final Bow[398]