1. The pirate was a homely man, and short and grum and fat;
  2. He wore a wild and awful scowl beneath his slouching hat.
  3. Swords, pistols and stilettos were arranged around his thighs,
  4. And demoniacal glaring was quite common with his eyes.
  1. His heavy black moustaches curled away beneath his nose,
  2. And drooped in elegant festoons about his very toes.
  3. He hardly ever spoke at all; but when such was the case,
  4. His voice 'twas easy to perceive was quite a heavy bass.
  2. He was not a serious pirate; and despite his anxious cares,
  3. He rarely went to Sunday-school and seldom said his prayers.
  4. He worshiped lovely women, and his hope in life was this:
  5. To calm his wild, tumultuous soul with pure domestic bliss.
  1. When conversing with his shipmates, he very often swore
  2. That he longed to give up piracy and settle down on shore.
  3. He tired of blood and plunder; of the joys that they could bring;
  4. He sighed to win the love of some affectionate young thing.
  1. One morning as the "Mary Jane" went bounding o'er the sea
  2. The pirate saw a merchant bark far off upon his lee.
  3. He ordered a pursuit, and spread all sail that he could spare,
  4. And then went down, in hopeful mood, to shave and curl his hair.
  1. He blacked his boots and pared his nails and tied a fresh cravat;
  2. He cleansed his teeth, pulled down his cuffs and polished up his hat;
  3. He dimmed with flour the radiance of his fiery red nose,
  4. For, hanging with that vessel's wash, he saw some ladies' hose.
  1. Once more on deck, the stranger's hull he riddled with a ball,
  2. And yelled, "I say! what bark is that?" In answer to his call
  3. The skipper on the other boat replied in thunder tones:
  4. "This here's the bark Matilda, and her captain's name is Jones."