Unquestionably certain natures are so constituted as to irritate us every time we come near them. And unless we are very carefully on our guard we will not treat such persons justly or courteously, much less will we be ready to render them delicate service. Quite unconsciously we exhibit our temper of mind. There may be the determination not to allow our feelings to rise to the surface, but nevertheless before we know it we have done the mischief; and somehow the bitterness we entertain has been let loose, not by a word or a look, perhaps, but by some subtle telepathic or psychic influence which opens the secret of our soul to our companion. There is nothing more infectious than a temper of mind. It seems to leap out of one soul and impart itself to another without heeding the ordinary laws of transmission. Anger, lust, suspicion, dislike, jealousy smirch not only the souls in which they lie restrained though not conquered, but others that come within the radius of their wide-reaching influence.
Fortunately this power of infection is not confined to evil passions, but belongs even in a larger degree to those which are good. And herein lies the remedy for temperamental dislike. If we stop short at choking it down, we can never make a friend of one whose disposition is naturally repugnant to us. Sooner or later our dislike will crop out and a gulf be made. If, on the other hand, the dislike is displaced by generous, full love—love that is a force and not a mere emotion—fellowship, and eventually friendship, will become possible. There may be grounds often for our antipathies. Some people have the misfortune to be graceless, awkward and repellant; others are unattractive if not positively disagreeable to every one—bad-tempered, perhaps, or mischief-makers. To educate these in Christian fellowship is probably as large a public service as could be readily rendered. "It is no great matter," says Jeremy Taylor,[17] "to live lovingly with good-natured, with humble and meek persons; but he that can do so with the froward, with the wilful, and the ignorant, with the peevish and perverse, he only hath true charity."
§ 3. A third bar to Christian fellowship is what, for want of a better phrase, may be termed a weakness for interesting people. That is to say, the humanity that is within easy reach seems commonplace and uninteresting, so that men of our intimate acquaintance often appear to be hardly worth while labouring for. Hence it is a common habit to reserve our best thought, our best manners and our best service for strangers, making little positive effort to love and serve those with whom we are thrown into daily contact. Nowhere is human perversity more glaring than in the sad truth lurking behind the proverb: "A prophet is not without honour, save in his own country and house." The value of those who stand nearest to us is lowered by means of their very nearness. On the other hand the persons who are outside our immediate circle, however comprehensive it may be, seem to be more interesting than the very average folk who are our ordinary companions. We long for companionship with men of this finer type.
Of course this is all a delusion. Human nature is full of interest wherever we find it, that which is nearest as well as that which is farthest removed. The men we would like to know and serve, are no more worthy of attention than the men who stand shoulder to shoulder with us. But those who have the largest claim upon our attention and service, are our immediate friends and neighbours. Indeed the only way to arm ourselves against disappointment, as the boundaries of our fellowship are enlarged, is so to attach ourselves to the people near at hand as to learn the true dignity of all human nature and the almost unfathomable depths of every personality. Otherwise an acquisition in acquaintanceship will, after the first glow of novelty has worn off, only reveal one more uninteresting person.
§ 4. There is one other duty that ought to be at least touched upon in this connection, though it has been referred to in a former chapter—the duty of praying for others. There is no more delicate service in the whole round of human action than that of intercessory prayer. It is so hidden as to have a special beauty on that account. While men are all unconscious that we are thinking of them, we fold our arms about them and bring them up before God for blessing and guidance. Intercessory prayer might be defined as loving our neighbour on our knees. The common objection, "What good can it do? Will not God bless men just as much without our prayers as with them?" seems to have a certain amount of weight. But a very little reflection shows that it does not amount to much. Even though intercessory prayer did nothing more than put us who pray in a desirable frame of mind toward those for whom we pray, it would be an exercise of great value. However, as a matter of fact, it accomplishes much more than this. Besides making our feeling of fellowship stronger, it really brings something to those for whom we offer our petitions. Human life is as closely bound up on the spiritual as on any other side of our being. It is quite certain that if we withhold the duties of service in other ways God does not supply our lack, so far as we can see, but human life suffers through our neglect. If all else in our experience is governed by law, why should we believe that the spiritual part of life stands alone and is not affected by spiritual service? There is from analogy every reason to suppose, that those who are not prayed for suffer spiritual loss on that account.
But the immediate point to be made is that the height of Christian friendship cannot be reached without intercession. It has been pointed out by a spiritual teacher[18] that it makes a great difference in our feelings towards others if their needs and their joys are on our lips in prayer; as also it makes a vast difference in their feelings towards us if they know that we are in the habit of praying for them. There is no chasm in society that cannot be firmly and permanently bridged by intercession; there is no feud or dislike that cannot be healed by the same exercise of love.
Here, then, as in all else, if we are to come anywhere near the ideal we must lift our eyes to God. Friendship in God is possible only for those who bring society before God in prayer.
FOOTNOTES:
[15] Cf. Browning's verses in Prince Hohenstiel-Schwangau, where the result of false culture, or the abuse of culture, is referred to:—
Man is made in sympathy with man
At outset of existence, so to speak;
But in dissociation, more and more,
Man from his fellow, as their lives advance
In culture; still humanity, that's born
A mass, keeps flying off, fining away
Ever into a multitude of points,
And ends in isolation, each from each.