Being wide awake—my UPPER STORY in perfect repair—and down to what I am about—I have seized hold of the feather, with a firm hand, to render myself intelligible, and also to communicate the objects I have in view; I give and bequeath unto my friend, Jerry Hawthorn, Esq., my tile, my castor, my topper, my upper-crust, my pimple coverer, otherwise MY HAT, which, I hope, will never be the means of changing the appearance of “an old friend with a new face.” To my out and out friend and companion, Corinthian Tom, I give my spread, my summer-cabbage, my water-plant, but more generally understood as my Umbrella; who, I feel assured will never let it be made use of as a shelter for duplicity, ingratitude, or hum-buggery of any sort! Also, to Jerry Hawthorn, Esq., I resign my fam-snatchers, i.e., my Gloves, under the consideration, if ever he should part with them, that they are only to be worn by those persons, who have “a hand to give, and a heart that forgives!” Likewise to Jerry Hawthorn, Esq., I bequeath my four-eyes, my barnacles, my green-specs, but amongst opticians, denominated Spectacles. It is my sincere wish, that nothing green will be ever seen appertaining to them, except their colour; I also hope they will not, upon any occasion whatever magnify Trifles into difficulties: but enable the wearer to see his way through Life as clear as crystal! I press upon Jerry Hawthorn, Esq., his acceptance of my fogle, my wipe, my clout, my sneezer, politely termed a Silk Handkerchief. This article has often been used to wipe off a tear of pity, and always forthcoming at a tale of distress; may it ever be at hand on such Christian-like occasions! To Philip Timothy Splinter, Esq., I bequeath my upper tog, my Benjaman, my wrapper, generally called a Top Coat, with the advice, that however it may be mended and mended again, he will never let it be turned against unavoidable misfortune, and charity. My ticker, my tatler, my thimble, otherwise my Watch, I bequeath to Jerry Hawthorn, Esq., as an emblematical gift to keep Time upon all occasions—to remember its inestimable value, and also to recollect that he will, some day or another, be wound-up for the last time. My two Seals I give conjointly to my most valued and dear friends, Corinthian Tom and Jerry Hawthorn, Esqrs., in order, if possible, that the bonds of friendship may be more firmly sealed between them, to the end of their lives. To Miss Mary Rosebud, I give and bequeath my Diamond Ring, as a representative of her excellent brilliant qualities, and also as a golden fence, to secure her virtue, reputation, and dignity. To my worthy friend, Sir John Blubber, Knt. I give and bequeath my padders, my stampers, my buckets, otherwise my Boots, whose knowledge of mankind, united with kindness towards the failings of others, teaches him to tread lightly o’er the ashes of the dead! To prevent mistakes respecting my Bit, I have not a bit to leave; it having been with me, for some time past—Pockets to Let, unfurnished; Sic transit gloria mundi! But nevertheless, I trust I have always proved amicus humani generis! My Books having been long booked for their value, and afforded me consolation and support in the hour of need—I, therefore, leave as I found it, for other folks to bustle in, that Great Volume—the World! which upon all occasions, was my sheet-anchor! assisted by the following good old maxims, as my guide:—
Tempus edax rerum.—Time that devours all things.
Vincit veritas.—Truth conquors.
Principiis obsta.—Resist the first beginnings.
Vitiis nemo sine nascitur.—No man without his faults.
Spes mea in Deo.—My hope is in God.
Spero meliora.—I hope for better things.
Robert Logic.
Tom and Jerry were both considerably affected at the kindness displayed towards them by the Oxonian; and had it been at any other time, the singularity of the above Testament would have produced much laughter between them; at all events, it convinced them that Logic still preserved his character for ORIGINALITY. Three proper witnesses, disinterested persons, belonging to the house, were instantly called in to sign it, when the Testament, in the eye of the law, became a valid document. “My dear Jerry,” said Logic, “as we must soon part, I had intended to offer a few remarks for your consideration; but, finding that my strength will not second my intentions, I shall be very concise on the matter: you must perceive that the comical part of my career is at an end, and you are well aware that I always was a merry fellow; but, as Mercutio says, I shall be found a grave man to-morrow. Endeavour, then, “To do unto all men, as you would they should do unto you,” and you will not be a great way off the right path to happiness. I feel myself very faint; my breath getting short; and having settled everything to my satisfaction, have the kindness to assist me into bed, that I may die like a Christian—contented, and in peace with all mankind! Tom, give me your hand; Jerry, yours likewise—I grasp them both with sincerity!” Then looking them full in the face; with a placid smile on his countenance, his last words were—“God bless you!” His lip fell; his eyes lost their brilliancy; and the once-merry, lively, facetious, friendly Logic, was now numbered with the dead!
For several days, our heroes were absorbed in grief, at the sudden loss of their much-admired and valued friend; and Corinthian House, for a long time after the decease of the Oxonian, was dull in the extreme. The funeral of Logic, under the direction of Tom, was of the most splendid description; and a handsome monument was also erected by his order, bearing the following inscription:—
This Tablet
Was erected in remembrance of
ROBERT LOGIC, Esq.,
Who was viewed throughout the circle of his acquaintances as
A MAN,
In every sense of the word,
Valuable as Gold!
Mirth and Good Humour were always at his elbows; but
DULL CARE
Was never allowed a seat in his presence.
He played the first fiddle in all companies, and was never out
of tune:
Bob was a wit of the first quality;
But his Satire was general, and levelled against the follies
of mankind:
Personality and Scandal he disclaimed:
His exertions were always directed to make others happy.
As a Choice Spirit, he was unequalled;
And as a Sincere Friend, never excelled; but in his character of a
MAN OF THE WORLD,
Bob Logic was a Mirror to all his Companions.
Mankind had been his study; and he had perused the Great
Book of Life
With superior advantages; and his Commentaries on
Men and Manners
Displayed not only an enlarged mind; but his Opinions were
gentlemanly and liberal.
His intimate knowledge of Vice had preserved him from
being Vicious.
By which source he was able to discriminate with effect; and
Virtue appeared more beautiful in his eyes.
Truth was his polar star; and Integrity his sheet anchor.
Adversity could not reduce his noble mind,
And Prosperity was not suffered to play tricks with his feelings;
HE WAS A MAN UNDER ALL CIRCUMSTANCES!
Flattery he despised; while Candour obtained his respect;
and the corner stone of his character was—Sincerity.
He was charitable, but not ostentatious, and a well-wisher to
all the world.
His Friends,
TOM AND JERRY,
Lamenting his severe loss in society, trust, that upon the
AWFUL, DAY OF RECKONING,
The Great Auditor of Accounts will find his Balance Sheet
correct, (errors excepted):
And as the whole tenour of Bob Logic’s life had been A Volume
of Pleasure they sincerely hope it will be
Well Bound at the last!
CHAPTER XV.
“There is no place like Home!” Jerry bids adieu to Life in London, and sets out, with the Corinthian, for Hawthorn Hall. Rosebud Cottage in sight, the Church in perspective, and a good look-out towards the High Road to Matrimony. Uncertainty of existence: sorrow succeeding sorrow: Tom killed by a fall from his horse while hunting. Jerry disconsolate for the loss of his two Pals. Reflections on the death of the Corinthian, and a few Lines to his Memory. Grieving’s a folly! Thoughts on Marriage: popping the Question—the bit of Gold—the reluctant NO—YES!—Old Jollyboy an important feature. The Wedding Day—all happiness at Hawthorn Hall—Jerry and Mary Rosebud united. The TIE-UP of the Story, i.e., to promote Life in the Country.
The sudden death of Logic made quite a chasm in the movements of Tom and Jerry; indeed he had been the principal caterer for their amusements, and our heroes were not only in grief for his loss, but reduced completely to a stand-still without him. It is true; Jerry had previously made up his mind to quit London, but the sudden demise of the Oxonian positively hurried him out of town. The Metropolis had lost its attractions upon the feelings of Jerry, and he flattered himself that the neighbourhood of Hawthorn Hall, the sports of the field, and the fascinating company of Miss Rosebud, would, in a great measure, afford relief to his mind, and ultimately restore him to cheerfulness. The parents of Jerry were overjoyed in beholding their darling son once more safe under their roof, and the Corinthian also received the most friendly congratulations on his arrival at Hawthorn Hall. The sombre appearance of our heroes, who were in deep mourning for the Oxonian, operated as a great drawback to the festivities which under different circumstances, had been intended to celebrate their reception; indeed, at every step they took, the loss of Logic was sincerely regretted by all those persons who had ranked him as one of their best acquaintances, during his last appearance at Hawthorn Hall. “To me, the loss of Logic is incalculable,” said Jerry, to his father; “he was not only able to advise, but his manner of doing it was so persuasive, that it was impossible not to benefit by his experience; more especially at my time of life, when such experience was by far more valuable to my mind, than any knowledge I might have obtained of men and manners, through my own exertions!”