The New Policeman,
And the Somers Town Butcher.
Air—“Bob and Joan.”
Hollo! New Police,
Who in blue coats, strut on,
Your fame you wont increase
By stealing joints of mutton,
Who would e’er suppose,
In such handsome rigging,
Spick and span new clothes,
Men would go a prigging?
Hollo! New Police, &c., &c.
At very little cost
Jones wished to have a luncheon;
But now the blade has lost
His uniform and truncheon.
Alas! the worthy soul,
While the victuals bagging,
Tho’ a scrag he stole
Never dreamt of scragging. Hollo! &c., &c.
Off he made a move,
And muttered in retreating,
“D——, this will prove
Very good eating!”
With this bit of meat,
Doubtless quite enraptur’d;
But joy is very fleet,
And Mr. Jones was captur’d. Hollo! &c., &c.
“Oh!” cried Mr. Jones,
“This is inconvenient!
Curse the mutton bones—
Gentlemen, be lenient.
This joint you will remark
(The truth I won’t conceal it),
I borrowed for a lark—
I never meant to steal it.” Hollo! &c., &c.
Here’s a pretty prig,
Thus went Somer’s Sam on,
First my meat to prig,
And then to pitch his gammon.
Borrow’d! blow me tight,
Seeing is believing;
I loves the thing vot’s right,
And always hated thieving. Hollo! &c., &c.
Peel’s new plan, I say,
Ought to be rejected,
If this here’s the way
We’re to be protected.
These coves parade the street
In dashing dark blue habit;
But when they eye our meat,
’Tis ten to one they grab it. Hollo! &c., &c.
’Twas droll to hear the chaff
When they were embodied;
Now it makes me laugh
To see so many quodded.
Thieves may feel secure,
Whate’er the hour or weather,
For Sam is very sure
They are all rogues together. Hollo! &c., &c.

The City of London successfully rejected the introduction of the New Police within their territories. “They worn’t a going to hav’ no new French Police Spy system in their ancient and honourable City,” said Alderman Cute-Grub-Bub-Turtle-and-Soup, “not if ve knows it.” Therefore, no one will be surprised at frequently reading in the newspapers of the period paragraphs like the following:—

THE EFFECTS OF THE NEW POLICE.

At the Guildhall, on Monday, October 12th, 1829, after Sir Peter Laurie had admonished and discharged a disorderly woman, who had been accused of being noisy in the street, he asked her accuser, a watchman, named Livingstone, where his beat was? The watchman said it was from St. Dunstan’s Church to Temple Bar. Do you find any increase of bad characters on your beat? Watchman (smilingly): Yes, I believe I do; the New Policemen drives ’em into the City. Sir Peter: Then you should drive them back again; it would be better than taking them up. Watchman: When there was a quarrel among them the other night, a policeman came up and drove them through the Bar, saying, “Ye shan’t stand here; go into the City with your rows.” Sir Peter Laurie said that he had heard that a police magistrate had directed the policemen to drive all bad characters into the City. If there was any truth in this, it was an imprudent—an improper observation. He desired the watchman present to drive all the bad characters out of the City. The thing must be put down. Subsequently, some vagrants were brought up, and Sir Peter told them to drive them out of the City instead of apprehending them in future. “We can play at tennis-ball,” said the Alderman, in an under tone.

“Who stole the Mutton?” together with many other words and phrases in reference to the supposed partiality of the police to The Cook! The Kitchen!! and The Cold Mutton!!! have clung to the service from the day of its formation to the present time, while comic writers of all degrees, in farces, burlesques, songs, and pantomimes, have never failed to make capital out of the New Police, Peel’s Raw-Lobsters, Peeler’s, Blue Bottles, &c., &c.

Polito’s Beasts.—Polito, the Italian successor to Pidcock’s Zoological Collection, and very famous in his day. Attracted many thousands of spectators every year at Bartholomew Fair.

Pony.—Money. To post the pony, to pay down the money, also the sum of twenty-five pounds.

Poundage Cove.—A fellow who receives poundage for procuring a customer for damaged goods—also a puffer at auction sales.

Prads.—Horses. The swell flashes a fine pair of horses.

Press-Gang.—Reporters, better known, perhaps, as gentlemen connected with the Press!