Shoot thine arrow o’er thy house,—
And do not wound thy brother;
but whisper to the Pack, and particularly to the whipper-in, Old Christopher North, that ‘’Tis I’—(your flash-y friend of the South). But let me entreat of you Mr. Blackwood, to bottle-off a few of thy little mastery touches (as full of fire as thy famed whisky), and send them to me with all the speed of the mail, lest my stock of spirits should be exhausted, and that Life in London may be enriched with the fine colouring of a Meg Merrilees, if it be only in perspective.”
—“And Mr. Colburn (thou indefatigable promoter of literature), thy assistance I most humbly crave! indeed, I feel assured that thy spirited and liberal disposition will not permit thee to omit informing those dashing belles and beaux, whose morning lounge gives thy repository of the mind an air of fashion, that Life in London is worthy of perusal.
********
“But thou, O Murray! whose classic front defies, with terrific awe, ill-starred, pale, wan, and shabbily-clad Genius from approaching thy splendid threshold, retreat a little from thy rigid reserve, and for once open thy doors, and take the unsophisticated Jerry Hawthorn by the hand; and although not a Childe Harold in birth, a Corsair bold, or a Hardy Vaux, wretched exile; yet let me solicit thee to introduce him to thy numerous acquaintance, that, having once obtained thy smiling sanction, Jerry may not only have the honour of being allowed to call again, but to offer his services throughout thy extended circle. Grant me but this and whether in simple quires, in humble boards, or in Russia, triumphantly gilt, so that thou promote my fame, my gratitude attends thee, and values not the mode of thy favours.”
“Christie, I am sure thy goodness will not refuse me the loan of thy erudite hammer, if not to knock down, yet to dispose of every coarse and offensive article; nay more, let them not be numbered in the catalogue of my offences.”
“O Shaughnessy, fashion me into thy fine attitudes and guard, to protect me from assaults in all the hair-breath escapes I may have to encounter in my day and midnight rambles. And thou, O mighty and powerful champion, Cribb, admired hero of the stage, teach me to make a hit of so Kean a quality, that it may not only tell, but be long remembered in the Metropolis. And Paternoster-row triumpet forth its praise and excellence throughout the most distant provinces.”
“Ackerman, if ever thou didst value the Tour of Dr. Syntax, I call upon thee now to lend thy friendly assistance and protection to Corinthian Tom and his rustic protégé poor Jerry. Present a copy of their Sprees and Rambles to the learned Doctor, and his ‘Picturesque’ brain will be all on fire for another tour, from the new scenes it will develop to his unbounded thirst for enterprise and knowledge.”
“And thou, too, Hone, thou king of parodists! turn not a deaf ear to my request, but condescendingly grant the petition of your most humble suitor. In my diversity of research, teach me ‘how to tell my story,’ that I may not only woo the public with success and fame, but produce that fine edge in sharpening up my ideas, yet, withal so smooth and oily, that instead of wounding characters, I may merely tickle them and create a smile!”
“Tremblingly alive! nay, heavily oppressed with agitation and fear, I now intrude myself into thy presence, thou renowned hero of the police, Townshend. Do not frown upon me, but stretch out thine hand to my assistance, thou bashaw of the prigs and all-but beak! The satellite of kings and princes, protector of the nobility, and one of the safe guards of the Metropolis. Listen to my application, I entreat thee, ‘my knowing one,’ and for once let me take a peep into thy hiden invaluable secrets. It is only a glance at thy reader[7] that I request:—