IN THIS TOWN!
and a meeting in consequence took place at “Rosebud Cottage” the residence of Miss Mary Ann Lovitt, when, as a first step, it was determined to remove the facilities and accommodation afforded a certain—You-know-what! crime very general in this neighbourhood by hunting out of the town:—
A CERTAIN LADY ABBESS!!
who keeps a very genteel house for the accommodation of “single young men and their wives” and one who never offends, or bores her patrons by asking for a sight of their ‘Marriage Certificates.’
At the meeting, the armchair was taken by the Rev. John —— —— —— B.A., of this parish, Mr. Churchwarden Smith, and Mr. J. Brown, the draper, supporting him on either side; when a variety of methods were suggested for the removal of the alledged social evil, one thought entreaty might best answer, another was for force, a third recommended the Religious Tract Society, while a fourth was for the aid of the Very Rev. Rowland H———l, Miss A. and Miss B. were both loud in their praise of the Rev. Jabez B———g, mention was made of the Society for the Suppression of Vice, at length the Reverend Divine Chairman was called on for his opinion, when he—conscious of the integrity and purity of his own life and experience! at once pronounced:—
A BURNING SHAME!!!
as the only effectual remedy for the ever increasing evil. This was indeed a harsh measure, and some of the worthies looked a variety of colours on the occasion, but as none had the moral courage for personal character sake to oppose the parson’s proposition, it was carried unanamously. A board bearing on it in legible characters:—
BEWARE OF A BAD HOUSE!!!!
was soon prepared, and with a lanthorn attached, was paraded before the house of the fair—but frail duenna’s mansion. It did not remain long in this position as the following letter from the lady abbess of the Agapemone! soon had its deserved effect:—
Gentlemen:—“If the board and lanthorne is not removed from the front of my house in one hour from this time, I will publish the name, profession, and address, of every gentleman—together with that of the lady accompaning him who has visited my “Establishment for Young Ladies” during the last six months. Some of your worships know on whom this would fall heaviest.”