The Pagan Tribes of Borneo / A Description of Their Physical Moral and Intellectual Condition, with Some Discussion of Their Ethnic Relations

by Charles Hose; William McDougall

The Family

Very few men have more than one wife. Occasionally a chief whose wife has borne him no children during some years of married life, or has found the labours of entertaining his guests beyond her strength, will with her consent, or even at her request, take a second younger wife. In such a case each wife has her own sleeping apartment within the chief's large chamber, and the younger wife is expected to defer to the older one, and to help her in the work of the house and of the field. The second wife would be chosen of rather lower social standing than the first wife, who in virtue of this fact maintains her ascendancy more easily. A third wife is probably unknown; public opinion does not easily condone a second wife, and would hardly tolerate a third. In spite of the presence of slave women in the houses, concubinage is not recognised or tolerated.

The choice of a wife is not restricted by the existence of any law or custom prescribing marriage without or within any defined group; that is to say, exogamous and endogamous groups do not exist. Incest is regarded very seriously, and the forbidden degrees of kinship are clearly defined. They are very similar to those recognised among ourselves. A man may under no circumstances marry or have sexual relations with his sister, mother, daughter, father's or mother's sister or half sister, his brother's or sister's daughter; and in the case of those women who stand to him in any of these relations in virtue of adoption, the prohibitions and severe penalties are if possible even more strictly enforced. First cousins may marry, but such marriages are not regarded with favour, and certain special ceremonies are necessitated; and it seems to be the general opinion that such marriages are not likely to prove happy. Many young men of the upper class marry girls of the same class belonging to neighbouring villages of their own people, aid in some cases this choice falls on a girl of a village of some other tribe. A marriage of the latter kind is often encouraged by the chiefs and elder people, in order to strengthen or to restore friendly relations between the villages.

The initiative is taken in nearly all cases by the youth. He begins by paying attentions somewhat furtively to the girl who attracts his fancy. He will often be found passing the evening in her company in her parents' room. There he will display his skill with the KELURI, or the Jew's harp, or sing the favourite love-song of the people, varying the words to suit the occasion. If the girl looks with favour on his advances, she manages to make the fact known to him. Politeness demands that in any case he shall be supplied by the women with lighted cigarettes. If the girl wishes him to stay, she gives him a cigarette tied in a peculiar manner, namely by winding the strip which confines its sheath of dried banana leaf close to the narrow mouth-piece; whereas on all other occasions this strip is wound about the middle of the cigarette. The young man thus encouraged will repeat his visits. If his suit makes progress, he may hope that the fair one will draw out with a pair of brass tweezers the hairs of his eyebrows and lashes, while he reclines on his back with his head in her lap. If these hairs are very few, the girl will remark that some one else has been pulling them out, an imputation which he repudiates. Or he complains of a headache, and she administers scalp-massage by winding tufts of hair about her knuckles and sharply tugging them. When the courtship has advanced to this stage, the girl may attract her suitor to the room by playing on the Jew's harp, with which she claims to be able to speak to him — presumably the language of the heart. The youth thus encouraged may presume to remain beside his sweetheart till early morning, or to return to her side when the old people have retired. When the affair has reached this stage, it becomes necessary to secure the public recognition which constitutes the relation a formal betrothal. The man charges some elderly friend of either sex, in many cases his father or mother, to inform the chief of his desire. The latter expresses a surprise which is not always genuine; and, if the match is a suitable one, he contents himself with giving a little friendly advice. But if he is aware of any objections to the match he will point them out, and though he will seldom forbid it in direct terms, he will know how to cause the marriage to be postponed.

If the chief and parents favour the match, the young man presents a brass gong or a valuable bead to the girl's family as pledge of his sincerity. This is returned to him if for any reason beyond his control the match is broken off. The marriage may take place with very little delay; but during the interval between betrothal and marriage the omens are anxiously observed and consulted. All accidents affecting any members of the village are regarded as of evil omen, the more so the more nearly the betrothed parties are concerned in them. The cries of birds and deer are important; those heard about the house are likely to be bad omens, and it is sought to compensate for these by sending a man skilled in augury to seek good omens in the jungle, such as the whistle of the Trogan and of the spider-hunter, and the flight of the hawk from right to left high up in the sky. If the omens are persistently and predominantly bad, the marriage is put off for a year, and after the next harvest fresh omens are sought. The man is encouraged in the meantime to absent himself from the village, in the hope that he may form some other attachment. But if he remains true and favourable omens are obtained, the marriage is celebrated if possible at the close of the harvest. If the marriage takes place at any other time, the feast will be postponed to the end of the following harvest.[40] After the marriage the man lives with his wife in the room of his father-in-law for one, two, or at most three years. During this time he works in the fields of his father-in-law and generally helps in the support of the household, showing great deference towards his wife's parents. Before the end of the third year of marriage, the young couple will acquire for themselves a room in the house and village of the husband, in which they set up housekeeping on their own account. In addition to these personal services rendered to the parents of the bride, the man or his father and other relatives give to the girl's parents at the time of the marriage various articles which are valuable in proportion to the social standing of the parties, and which are generally appropriated by the girl's parents.[41]

Divorce is rare but not unknown among the Kayans. The principal grounds of divorce are misconduct, desertion, incompatibility of temper and family quarrels; or a couple may terminate their state of wedlock by mutual consent on payment of a moderate fine to the chief. Such separation by mutual consent is occasioned not infrequently by the sterility of the marriage, especially if the couple fails to obtain a child for adoption; the parties hope to procure offspring by taking new partners; for the desire for children and pride and joy in the possession of them are strongly felt by all. The husband of a sterile wife may leave the house for a long period, living in the jungle and visiting other houses, in the hope that his wife may divorce him on the ground of desertion, or give him ground for divorcing her. On discovery of misconduct on the woman's part the husband will usually divorce her; the man then retains all property accumulated since the marriage, and the children are divided between the parents. The co-respondent and respondent are fined by the chief, and half the amount of the fine goes to the injured husband. Misconduct on the part of the man must be flagrant before it constitutes a sufficient ground for his divorce by his wife. In this case the same rules are followed. Among the Kayans the divorce is not infrequently followed by a reconciliation brought about by the intervention of friends; the parties then come together again without further ceremony. There is little formality about the divorce procedure. In the main it takes the form of separation by mutual consent and the condonation of the irregularity by the community on the payment of a fine to the chief.

Adoption

Adoption is by no means uncommon. The desire for children, especially male children, is general and strong; but sterile marriages seem to be known among all the peoples and are common among the Kenyahs. When a woman has remained infertile for some years after her marriage, the couple usually seek to adopt one or more children. They generally prefer the child of a relative, but may take any child, even a captive or a slave child, whose parents are willing to resign all rights in it. A child is often taken over from parents oppressed by poverty, in many cases some article of value or a supply of PADI being given in exchange. Not infrequently the parents wish to have the child returned to them when their affairs take a turn for the better, owing to a good harvest or some stroke of luck, and this is a frequent cause of dissensions. Usually the adopted child takes in every way the position of a child born to the parents.

Some of the Klemantans (Barawans and Lelaks in the Baram) practise a curious symbolic ceremony on the adoption of a child. When a couple has arranged to adopt a child, both man and wife observe for some weeks before the ceremony all the prohibitions usually observed during the later months of pregnancy. Many of these prohibitions may be described in general terms by saying that they imply abstention from every action that may suggest difficulty or delay in delivery; E.G. the hand must not be thrust into any narrow hole to pull anything out of it; no fixing of things with wooden pegs must be done; there must be no lingering on the threshold on entering or leaving a room. When the appointed day arrives, the woman sits in her room propped up and with a cloth round her, in the attitude commonly adopted during delivery. The child is pushed forward from behind between the woman's legs, and, if it is a young child, it is put to the breast and encouraged to suck. Later it receives a new name.

It is very difficult to obtain admission that a particular child has been adopted and is not the actual offspring of the parents; and this seems to be due, not so much to any desire to conceal the facts as to the completeness of the adoption, the parents coming to regard the child as so entirely their own that it is difficult to find words which will express the difference between the adopted child and the offspring. This is especially the case if the woman has actually suckled the child.