‘Pardon, messieurs,’ said I, endeavouring to pluck up courage, and seem at ease; ‘I never carried a—a thing like this before.’
‘Step out briskly,’ cried he; ‘you ‘ve a long way before you’; and with that he moved to the front, while the others brought up the rear.
As we proceeded on our way, they informed me that if by any accident they should be overtaken by any of my friends or associates, meaning thereby any of the human race that should chance to walk that way, the first thing they would do would be to shoot me dead—a circumstance that considerably damped all my ardour for a rescue, and made me tremble lest at any turn of the way some faggot-gatherer might appear in sight. Meanwhile, never did a man labour more strenuously to win the favour of his company.
I began by protesting my extreme innocence; vowed that a man of more estimable and amiable qualities than myself never did nor never would exist. To this declaration they listened with manifest impatience, if not with actual displeasure. I then tried another tack. I abused the rich and commended the poor; I harangued in round terms on the grabbing monopoly of the great, who enjoyed all the good things of this life, and would share none with their neighbours; I even hinted a sly encomium on those public-spirited individuals whose gallantry and sense of justice led them to risk their lives in endeavours to equalise somewhat more fairly this world’s wealth, and who were so ungenerously styled robbers and highwaymen, though they were in reality benefactors and heroes. But they only laughed at this; nor did they show any real sympathy with my opinions till in my general attack on all constituted authorities—kings, priests, statesmen, judges, and gendarmes—by chance I included revenue-officers. The phrase seemed like a spark on gunpowder.
‘Curses be on the wretches! they are the plague-spots of the world,’ cried I, seeing how they caught at the bait; ‘and thrice honoured the brave fellows who would relieve suffering humanity from the burden of such odious oppression.’
A low whispering now took place among my escort, and at length he who seemed the leader stopped me short, and placing his hand on my shoulder, cried out—
‘Are you sincere in all this? Are these your notions?’
‘Can you doubt me?’ said I. ‘What reasons have I for speaking them? How do I know but you are revenue-officers that listen to me?’
‘Enough, you shall join us. We are going to pass this sack of cigars.’
‘Ho! these are cigars, then,’ said I, brightening up. ‘It is not a—a—eh?’