Sewell began to lose patience, but he controlled himself, and, after a few puffs of his cigar, went on: “If it were not for the children, I 'd take the thing easy enough. Half-pay is a beggarly thing, but I 'd put up with it. I 'm not a man of expensive tastes. If I can relish thoroughly such sumptuous fare as you gave me this morning, I can put up with very humble diet. I 'm a regular soldier in that.”
“An excellent quality, sir,” said the old man, dryly.
“Lucy, of course, would suffer. There are privations which fall very heavily on a woman, and a woman, too, who has always been accustomed to a good deal of luxury.”
The Chief bowed an assent.
“I suppose I might get a depot appointment for a year or two. I might also—if I sold out—manage a barrack-mastership, or become an inspector of yeomanry, or some such vulgar makeshift; but I own, my Lord, when a man has filled the places I have,—held staff appointments,—been a private secretary,—discharged high trusts, too, for in Mooraghabad I acted as Deputy-Resident for eight months,—it does seem a precious come-down to ask to be made a paymaster in a militia regiment, or a subaltern in the mounted police.”
“Civil life is always open to a man of activity and energy,” said the Judge, calmly.
“If civil life means a profession, it means the sort of labor a man is very unfit for after five-and-thirty. The Church, of course, is open on easier terms; but I have scruples about the Church. I really could not take orders without I could conscientiously say, This is a walk I feel called to.”
“An honorable sentiment, sir,” was the dry rejoinder.
“So that the end will be, I suppose, one of these days I shall just repack my bullock-trunk, and go back to the place from whence I came, with the fate that attends such backward journeys!”
The Chief Baron made no remark. He stooped to fasten, a fallen carnation to the stick it had been attached to, and then resumed his walk. Sewell was so provoked by the sense of failure—for it had been a direct assault—that he walked along silent and morose. His patience could endure no longer, and he was ready now to resent whatever should annoy him.