What a pretty disclosure was here! So that while I was imaging myself squeezing the hand and winning the heart of the fair Mary Anne, I was merely making a case of strong evidence for a jury, that might expose me to the world, and half ruin me in damages. There was but one course open—to make a fight for it; and, from what I saw of my friend Mark Anthony, this did not seem difficult.
I accordingly assumed a high tone—laughed at the entire affair—said it was a “way we had in the army”—that “we never meant any thing by it,” &c. &c.
In a few minutes I perceived the bait was taking. Mr. Fitzpatrick’s west country blood was up: all thought of the legal resource was abandoned; and he flung out of the room to find a friend, I having given him the name of “one of ours” as mine upon the occasion.
Very little time was lost, for before three o’clock that afternoon a meeting was fixed for the following morning at the North Bull; and I had the satisfaction of hearing that I only escaped the malignant eloquence of Holmes in the King’s Bench, to be “blazed” at by the best shot on the western circuit. The thought was no way agreeable, and I indemnified myself for the scrape by a very satisfactory anathema upon the high sheriff and his ball, and his confounded saucepans; for to the lady’s sympathy for my sufferings I attributed much of my folly.
At eight the next morning I found myself standing with Curzon and the doctor upon that bleak portion of her majesty’s dominion they term the North Bull, waiting in a chilly rain, and a raw fog, till it pleased Mark Anthony Fitzpatrick, to come and shoot me—such being the precise terms of our combat, in the opinion of all parties.
The time, however, passed on, and half-past eight, three quarters, and at last nine o’clock, without his appearing; when, just as Curzon had resolved upon our leaving the ground, a hack jaunting-car was seen driving at full speed along the road near us. It came nearer and at length drew up; two men leaped off and came towards us; one of whom, as he came forward, took off his hat politely, and introduced himself as Mr. O’Gorman, the fighting friend of Mark Anthony.
“It’s a mighty unpleasant business I’m come upon, gentlemen,” said he, “Mr. Fitzpatrick has been unavoidedly prevented from having the happiness to meet you this morning—”
“Then you can’t expect us, sir, to dance attendance upon him here to-morrow,” said Curzon, interrupting.
“By no manner of means,” replied the other, placidly; “for it would be equally inconvenient for him to be here then. But I have only to say, maybe you’d have the kindness to waive all etiquette, and let me stand in his place.”
“Certainly and decidedly not,” said Curzon. “Waive etiquette!—why, sir, we have no quarrel with you; never saw you before.”