Dalton found his little household on the alert at his return home; for Mrs. Ricketts had just received an express to inform her that her “two dearest friends on earth” were to arrive that evening in Baden, and she was busily engaged in arranging a little fête for their reception. All that poor Nelly knew of the expected guests was that one was a distinguished soldier, and the other a no less illustrious diplomatist; claims which, for the reader's illumination, we beg to remark were embodied in the persons of Colonel Haggerstone and Mr. Foglass. Most persons in Mrs. Ricketts's position would have entertained some scruples about introducing a reinforcement to the already strong garrison of the villa, and would have been disposed to the more humble but safe policy enshrined in the adage of “letting well alone.” But she had a spirit far above such small ambitions, and saw that the Dalton hospitalities were capable of what, in parliamentary phrase, is called a “most extended application.”
By the awestruck air of Nelly, and the overweening delight manifested by her father, Zoe perceived the imposing effect of great names upon both, and so successfully did she mystify the description of her two coming friends, that an uninterested listener might readily have set them down for the Duke and Prince Metternich, unless, indeed, that the praises she lavished on them would have seemed even excessive for such greatness. A triumphal arch was erected half-way up the avenue, over which, in flowery initials, were to be seen the letters “B.” and “P.,” symbols to represent “Bayard” and “Puffendorf;” under which guise Haggerstone and the Consul were to be represented. Strings of colored lamps were to be festooned along the approach, over which an Irish harp was to be exhibited in a transparency, with the very original inscription of “Caed Mille failtha,” in Celtic letters beneath.
The banquet—the word “dinner” was strictly proscribed for that day—was to be arrayed in the hall, where Dalton was to preside, if possible, with an Irish crown upon his head, supported by Nelly as the genius of Irish music; and Zoe herself in a composite character,—half empress, half prophetess,—a something between Sappho and the Queen of Sheba; Martha, for the convenience of her various household cares, was to be costumed as a Tyrolese hostess; and Purvis, in a dress of flesh-colored web, was to represent Mercury, sent on purpose from above to deliver a message of welcome to the arriving guests. As for the General, there was a great doubt whether he ought to be Belisarius or Suwarrow; for, being nearly as blind as the one and as deaf as the other, his qualifications were about evenly balanced.
If not insensible to some of the absurdities of this notable project, Dalton forgot the ridicule in the pleasanter occupation of the bustle, the movement, and the tumult it occasioned. It did his heart good to see the lavish waste and profusion that went forward. The kitchen-table, as it lay spread with fruit, fish, and game, might have made a study for Schneiders; and honest Peter's face glowed with delight as he surveyed a scene so suggestive of convivial thoughts and dissipation.
“No doubt of it, Nelly,” said he; “but Mother Ricketts has grand notions! She does the thing like a princess!” The praise was so far well bestowed that there was something royal in dispensing hospitality without regarding the cost; while, at the same time, she never entertained the slightest sentiment of esteem for those in whose favor it was to be exercised. Among the very few things she feared in this world was Haggerstone's “tongue,” which she herself averred was best conciliated by giving “occupation to his teeth.” The banquet was “got up” with that object, while it also gave a favorable opportunity of assuming that unbounded sway in Dalton's household which should set the question of her supremacy at rest forever.
To this end was poor Martha engaged with puff-paste and jellies and whip-cream, with wreaths of roses and pyramids of fruit, from dawn till dusk. To this end was Purvis nearly driven out of his mind by endeavoring to get off by heart an address in rhyme, the very first line of which almost carried him off in a fit of coughing,—the word “Puffendorf” being found nearly as unmanageable to voice as it was unsuited to verse. While poor Belisarius, stripped of rule and compass, denied access to water-colors, Indian-ink, or charcoal, spent a most woful day of weary expectancy.
It was, indeed, an awful scene of trouble, fatigue, and exertion on every side, adding one more to those million instances where the preparation for the guest has no possible relation to the degree of esteem he is held in. For so is it in the world: our best receptions are decreed to those we care least for; our “friend” is condemned to the family dinner, while we lavish our fortune on mere acquaintances. In these days the fatted calf would not have been killed to commemorate the return of the prodigal, but have been melted down into mock-turtle, to feast “my Lord” or “Your Grace.”
The day wore on, and as the arrangements drew nearer to completion, the anxieties were turned towards the guests themselves, who were to have arrived at five o'clock. It was now six, and yet no sign of their coming! Fully a dozen times had Mrs. Ricketts called Martha from some household cares by the adjuration, “Sister Anne, sister Anne, seest thou nobody coming?” Mercury had twice ventured out on the high-road, from which he was driven back by a posse of hooting and laughing children; and Dalton himself paced up and down the terrace in a state of nervous impatience, not a little stimulated by hunger and certain flying visits he paid to the iced punch, to see if it was keeping cool.
There is, assuredly, little mesmeric relation between the expecting host and the lingering guest, or we should not witness all that we do of our friends' unpunctuality in this life. What a want of sympathy between the feverish impatience of the one and the careless dalliance of the other! Not that we intend this censure to apply to the case before us, for Haggerstone had not the very remotest conception of the honors that awaited him, and jogged along his dusty road with no greater desire to be at the end of the journey than was fairly justifiable in one who travelled with German post-horses and Foglass for a companion.
Six o'clock came, and, after another hour of fretful anxiety, it struck seven. By this time beef had become carbon, and fowls were like specimens of lava; the fish was reduced to the state of a “purée,” while everything meant to assume the flinty resistance of ice was calmly settling down into a fluid existence. Many an architectural device of poor Martha's genius was doomed to the fate of her other “castles,” and towers and minarets of skilful shape dropped off one by one, like the hopes of her childhood. All the telegraphic announcements from the kitchen were of disasters, but Mrs. Ricketts received the tidings with a Napoleonic calmness; and it was only when warned by the gathering darkness over Dalton* s brow that she thought it wiser to “give in.”