I made him no answer, Kitty, but walked along in silence, and with my veil down.
I write all these things to my dearest friend with less reserve than I could recall them to my own memory in solitude. I tell her everything; and she is the true partner of my joys, my sorrows, my hopes, and my terrors. Yet must I leave much to her imagination to picture forth the state of my affections, and the troubled sea of my heart's emotions. And, oh! dearest, kindest, tenderest of all friends, do not mistake, do not misconstrue the feelings of your ever attached and devoted
Mary Anne.
I wanted to tell you something of our future destination, and I have detained this for that purpose, but still everything is uncertain and undecided. Papa received a large packet, like law papers and leases, from Mr. Purcell yesterday, and has been occupied in perusing them ever since. We are in terror lest he should decide on going back; and every time he enters the room we are trembling in dread of the announcement. Mamma has had an hysterical attack in preparation for the moment, for the last twenty-four hours, and even if "no cause be shown," I fancy she will not throw away so much good agony for nothing, but take it out for what Sir Boyle Roach fought his duel, "miscellaneous reasons."
Cary is still staying with the Morrises. How she endures it I can't conceive; a half-pay lover and a half-pay ménage are two things that, to me at least, would be insupportable. The girl is really totally destitute of all proper pride, and makes the silly mistake of supposing that a spirit of independence is the best form of self-esteem. I suppose it will end by the "Captain's" proposing for her; but up to this, I believe, it is all friendship, regard, and so on.
END OF VOL. I.