Boring a hole in his head to let out fumes, which (says Gordonius) "will, without doubt, do much good." But it didn't.
Bezoar stone.
Diamargaritum.
A ram's brain boiled in spice.
Oil of wormwood.
Water of Nile.
Capers.
Good wine (but there was none to be got).
The water of a smith's forge.
Hops.
Ambergris.
Mandrake pillows.
Dormouse fat.
Hares' ears.
Starvation.
Camphor.
Salts and senna.
Musk.
Opium.
Strait-waistcoats.
Bullyings.
Bumpings.
Blisterings.
Bleedings.
Bucketings with cold water.
Knockings down.
Kneeling on his chest till they broke it in, etc. etc.; after the mediæval or monkish method: but that would not do. Bumpsterhausen's blue follicles stuck there still.
Then—
4. Coaxing.
Kissing.
Champagne and turtle.
Red herrings and soda water.
Good advice.
Gardening.
Croquet.
Musical soirées.
Aunt Sally.
Mild tobacco.
The Saturday Review.
A carriage with outriders, etc. etc.
After the modern method. But that would not do.
And if he had but been a convict lunatic, and had shot at the Queen, killed all his creditors to avoid paying them, or indulged in any other little amiable eccentricity of that kind, they would have given him in addition—
The healthiest situation in England, on Easthampstead Plain.
Free run of Windsor Forest.
The Times every morning.