And blandly pronounced it “an undersized whale.”

When a small boy was flying his kite on the links

It was promptly impounded by Constable Jinks,

Who astutely remarked that it might have been seen

By the vigilant crew of a Hun submarine.

It is sometimes alleged that great valour he showed

When he chased a mad cow for three miles on the road;

But there’s also another account of the hunt

With a four-legged pursuer, a biped in front.

If your house has been robbed and his counsel you seek