And his voice is as deep as a double bassoon.

His complexion is perfect, his uniform neat,

He rivets all eyes as he stalks down the street;

And I doubt if his critics will ever complain

Of his being a little deficient in brain.

For he’s more than a man; he’s a part of the map;

His going would cause a deplorable gap;

And the village would suffer as heavy a slump

As it would from the loss of the old parish pump.