I practise on the fiddle, flute, piano and harmonium;
I understand minutely the formation of an icicle,
And in the season round the Park I like to ride my bicycle.
I've studied Herbert Spencer and I've views on sociology,
And as a mere parergon I have taken up conchology—
In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
I am the very model of an up-to-date cook-general.
In fact, when I have learnt to tell a turnip from an artichoke,
Or grill a steak that will not make my mistress's dinner-party choke;
When I can cook a mutton chop or any plain comestible