“Make it a rule to obey all orders promptly and cheerfully. It is immaterial how disagreeable the officer giving the order may be, or how unpleasant the duty; go about it cheerfully, never sullenly nor carelessly. Sometimes you will find the Midshipmen disposed to turn on one of their fellows and ‘run him’ as it is called. Make it a rule never to join with them in this, for it not infrequently ends, particularly in the navy, in downright persecution.
“Make it a rule never to offend, nor to seek cause of offense in the conduct of others. Be polite to all, familiar with but few. Do not be quick to take offense; you will never find a gentleman who will willfully and without any cause, real or imaginary, offend another. Therefore whenever you imagine yourself aggrieved either by an equal or a superior officer—when you are in doubt as to whether the offense were intended or not, go straight up to him, state the case, and ask the meaning of the intention. Never let imaginary offenses, slights, or cuts find a place in your breast—they sour the disposition. Ask to have them explained at once, and in asking be always polite—never show temper.
“The rule in the navy is to treat everybody as a gentleman until he proves himself otherwise. It is a good rule—observe it well. You will sometimes hear the opinion expressed that it is necessary for a young officer to establish his courage by fighting. Now believe me, my young friend, that the courage to stand up and be shot at is the poorest sort of courage. He only is truly brave who has the courage to do right. This is the highest quality of bravery that a military, or any other man can possess.
“The doing right, the acting up to the principle, may sometimes seem to you to be inexpedient, or it may have the appearance of making you unpopular—but this principle of conduct will build up a character founded on the rock which nothing can shake; and let me assure you that it is unwise and always wrong for a man to have enmity in his breast between himself and his conscience. When principle is involved, be deaf to expediency. It is a dangerous word to all classes of men. I would, if I could, teach you almost to hate it.”
Now, a man who could attract and hold friends as Maury did would naturally be one whose family life was a happy one. This, indeed, was true in his case. He was a faithful son who made his home that of his parents in their old age, a thoughtful and considerate brother to his sisters and brothers, even sharing his home for a time with his brother’s widow and her children and often having other relatives under his roof. To his wife and children, Maury was their perfect ideal of a husband and father; while to him the happiest of all places was his home, and when he was away from it his mind was constantly filled with thoughts of his family. Many of his letters to friends contain references to his children, whose childish sayings he never tired of repeating.
His family, of course, knew Maury most intimately of all, and the following account of his appearance, personality, and home life is of particular interest and value: “Maury was a stout man, and about five feet six inches in height; he had a fresh, ruddy complexion, with curling brown hair, and clear, tender blue eyes. His massive head and strong neck surmounted broad and square shoulders, and a chest deep and full. His arms were long and strong, with hands small, soft, and beautifully formed—he was apt to use them in graceful gestures while conversing.
“Every feature and lineament of his bright countenance bespoke intellect, kindliness, and force of character. His fine blue eyes beamed from under his broad forehead with thought and emotion, while his flexible mouth smiled with the pleasure of imparting to others the ideas which were ever welling up in his active brain. In early manhood his head was well covered with fine soft, wavy brown hair, which became thin before he reached middle age. Latterly, he was quite bald, as is shown in Valentine’s fine bust, taken when he was sixty years old.
“His conversation was enjoyed by all who ever met him; he listened and learned while he conversed, and adapted himself to every capacity. He especially delighted in the company of young people, to whom his playful humor and gentle consideration made him very winning.
“In his early youth he was careless in his dress, and expressed contempt for those who judged of a man by his outward appearance. ‘But’, he said, ‘I soon perceived the folly of this carelessness’; and in later years he became scrupulously neat in his attire. His enjoyment of the pleasures of the table was refined; he liked good wine; he carved well, and entertained generously; and he was never more genial, humorous, or interesting than when surrounded by friends about a well-served board”.[12]
The account of his home life continues as follows: “Whether writing or thinking, no noise of the children, no invasion of visitors, was ever an interruption. In the midst of his most interesting pursuits, on which he was concentrating his powers, he would lay down his pen and join in the laugh at a good joke, and encourage the mirth to go on. He had an ever-active sense of humor; but scandal and gossip he would not allow in his presence, and he would never pass over any violation of high principle. He made loving companions and friends of his children—in his walks, in his talks, in his work, in his recreation, he was always one of them. He invited their confidence, and freely gave them his; in that household there were no secrets—any step that was about to be taken, any journey made, or any work projected, was fully and freely talked over and discussed in family conclave. And yet his word was law; that no one ever dreamt of disputing: so he was always the last to speak in these family councils, and gave the ‘casting vote’, as he used to say; the youngest voting or giving their opinion first on the matter under discussion.